Summer Dreams

Summer Dreams

“If only I had truly taken advantage of the situation, seized and held and prized the multitudes of advantages the summer offered me; if only I had.”
-A Separate Peace

I lie, slumbering in solitude beside you
Indifferent to your presence.
I awake to an imprint of you form
In the blankets that covered us.
And as I lie, tears welling up in orphaned eyes,
I curse this summer night with you
For which I’d hoped but never could imagine.
The dreams that emerged in the darkness before
Took me from your arms, leaving me with thoughts
But no presence in which to safeguard them.

I lay you down, I aside, grasping now and forever
What I hold, in heart, in hand.
No mere vessel of flesh and spirit and mind,
But a holy ark of desire and dreams and ideals,
Captured from summer’s fathomless pool.
And as I enter this ark, I sense without feeling,
The release of its ancient secret
I had heard in whispers in the masking dark.
Filled with an awed reverence I collapse in surrender
And feign understanding while realizing you.

Lying in the grass against you, I waken.
Sweet summer air enters my lips,
Tasting of fresh dreams I know are yet to come
Yet to be born, yet to die.
But this dream must be lived not dreamt,
So sleep I refuse as I sit gazing,
With the gorgeous sun rising against my back
As pale blue fills the gloom-gray morn.
But it is for no sunrise that I repulse tempting sleep.
Only your form, sleeping, captivates my spirit.
Filled are my eyes by the grace I find
With every softened rise of your chest,
While the sun’s radiance dances along your locks
Like thin strands of divine light,
Too glorious to grasp.
And now here I dream, awake, the dream of summer.
Born in your presence, nurtured in my blood,
Spilled out into the night, bringing forth day.

With this dream in my head,
My heart, my lungs,
I fight to remain conscious, knowing that sleep,
The realization of summer dreams,
Will be sweet but fleeting.
And as I hold you then, I spin.
Dizzy, trying, dying, I collapse
On the cold stone forgetting
That I held a dream in my hand
And so release it.

Finally I lie down with you for sleep,
Feeling like this sleep will bring the last dream.
But as my eyes close, warm air I feel on my face.
A soft brush of fingertips call to me.
And our lips meet, our bodies entwine, and desire,
Dream and love surrender to us this once.
As that night passed into day,
The existence of existence was questionable to us
Beyond what we grasped in each other.
And when sleep came, I conquered it, victorious,
Knowing that this night was summer’s last night,
Its last gift and surrender to me.
It gave me what it had hoping I’d be satisfied.
But as I stand and let you leave, your kiss
Fading from my lips, I know I am watching
My summer’s last dream forsake me.