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Rated: 18+ · Essay · Biographical · #1169103
The day I met Jesus.
Jesus Loves You!+

Of course, we've all heard that, but I know it's true. I was hunting for sea shells
for my hermit crabs on a bright sunny day; when I heard a whistle. I looked around
and there was no one about. Honestly, there are days I think I livng the @Truman
Show. This was a loud whistle. I shrugged and saw a perfect shell, and pow:
I was floating up out of the water! I couldn't move my arms and legs. I looked up.
All I could see was a steaming lumious cloud.
Before I could hollar; I was in side a plush room with huge windows looking
down on the beach. There was a bar and velour couches with a velvet ceiling.
I thought Elvis? But, Jesus was streached out on a couch like a Roman.
I just knew it was Jesus. I walked over to Jesus and knelt, bowing my head.
Jesus is there something you wanted to tell me? I queried.
Wants some pizza?(munch) Jesus replied.
I....I....I...Sure!(sometimes I stutter)
Just then the Lady in the Woods apeared. I had met her during one of my hikes,
but this time she had hair and looked like a real Lady with long black hair.
My Lady! My Lady! My Captain! My Captain! I exclaimed and fell to the floor at
her open toed high heels. Get up. I have some pizza. The lady of the Woods replied.
It was @Dominoes.
Jesus was finishing off another box. Jesus stood up and reached over me for
the fresh box. Don't eat it all Josh. The Lady scolded Jesus. Why am I here?
God? I queried. Jesus smiled with a long thread of cheese running from his lips
to a slice. I am one of many Saviours.(munch) Jesus explained that God has many
sons and daughters, who have risen from death. According to Jesus many of
these Avitars or Chrishnas are living amongst us guiding us like superstars.
Are you human? I asked...I begain to eat some pizza.
What is human? Jesus eyes widen like opals. Listen humans are not from Earth.
He continued. They are a subplanted species. What happened to all those
transitional missing links? The Earth is a farm! Jesus exclaimed extending his arms.
Amen. Amen. Amen. I prayed rising and bowing on my knees before the Risen.+
And it is time for the harvest! The Lady exclaimed while sipping on a cup of coffee.
Harvest? me?
Well, you do think were going to let these backward goverments burn up our farm?
She replied.
Harvest for Heaven? I whispered.
Jesus laughed and the Lady took a slice. The Lady rose from her couch and dropped her strapless gown. She was naked except for the shoes. We need fresh
breeding stock and water. Jesus: "Your not going to have my wife."
The Lady laughed: "Your not worth a penny."
I...I...I...Don'tknowwhatyouwantfromme! I was very upset and shouted at them.
Go back to Babylon and anoy them. Jesus spoke with a smile.
Surf the web. The Lady laughed.
OK! I put my thumb up in the air.
Hmmmmm. Get some chinese next time Miriam. Jesus murmured.
And I fell several hunder feet to the beach with a thud. The Lady tap me with
a wand and tossed me out a door in the floor.
I've felt vertago ever since.

Peace be with you.+
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