Lost

Lost

I sometimes find myself
Wondering why god put me on this earth
I serve no use to anyone
I just take up space
And for some reason I regret everything I do
And wish that I were as pretty
And smart, and skinny as her
I wish to be the best
And I feel lost

This huge world has no place for me;
I am nothing
Nobody needs me here
And nobody notices me
I am a speck of paint on a never ending wall
That is cruel
And unfair
And most of the time
I feel totally lost

Why am I so dumb?
Why am I so stupid?
Why can’t I be her?
Stop yelling at me!
I know I’m worthless
And I know I’m a small fish
In a big pond
But all I can do
Is lay here
And feel lost

Tell me,
What is my purpose?
Should I do this?
Or that?
Should I go left?
Or right?
Should I smile?
Or frown?
Life is full of ups and downs
And is a roller coaster full of fear
Oh yea, and I’m afraid of heights
That’s why I’m never up
I’m always down
Lower than humanly possible
I am lost

I must not be human, then
I must be some sort of ugly alien
That has no reason
No purpose
But to lay here
Bleeding and sweating tears
And being lost