Perspectives

Perspectives
I sat in the cafeteria and wasn’t sure if I was in a dream or not. So many people had just lost their sons, fathers, and mothers, and all these kids could think about was whether or not they were going to get out of football practice. People walked around the lunchroom and talked like it was normal that two 120-floor buildings had just imploded and killed thousands of Americans. I just don’t get how people can be so heartless. Actually, it’s not them I don’t get, it’s me. I was one of the few who had the capacity and compassion to understand what had just happened. Yet, I still participated. I acted normal and even had a laugh about the sprints I wouldn’t have to run that afternoon. Real honorable, huh? All it took was for 3,000 people to die for me to get out of wind sprints. I’m full of integrity. Maybe I should have been at the Trade Center that day instead of them. Why should good people have to die while snobby rich kids and I spit on their graves?

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Jesus Christ! I told him not to go to work this morning. Oh my God, what if I can’t find him? I’ll get a picture from the photo album and head down there. I need to try something. Wait a second, just calm down. I’m sure he got out of there on time. The planes hit on the high floors. He was only on the 58th. The fucking 58th floor! Jesus Bill, why couldn’t you have worked on the tenth floor or over on Wall Street? This is my fault. I told him to take that job last spring. This is God paying me back for thinking of myself and my pocketbook before his happiness. He loved his other job. I should have just let him stay there. He wanted to be closer to the kids. The Kids! What will they do without their father? I can’t raise them by myself. I don’t know how to raise three boys. Just breathe. I’m thinking too far ahead. I just need to calm down, he must be fine. God wouldn’t do that to him, he’s a good person. But, why wouldn’t he answer his cell phone? He always answers his cell phone. God, if you’re listening, bring me back my husband. I need him.

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Folks, just stay in your seats and everything will be fine. They tell me as long as we cooperate, no one will be hurt.

This is just fucking great! Just what my father needs. The top soil hasn’t even set on Mom’s grave yet, and he’s going to have to bury me. Fuck these guys, I don’t want to cooperate. The woman next to me said the flight attendants message was bullshit anyway. He has a news flash on his cell phone. It said two planes crashed into the Trade Center in The City. Those pieces of shit! I have a brother that works near the Trade. Now Dad is going to bury two sons and his wife inside of two weeks. Who the fuck do these Towelheads think they are? This is my family they’re messing with! I can’t even look at the guy watching my section of the plane. When I look at his eyes, I don’t see a human. I see a fucking dog. You know what, I don’t give a shit if that thing he has in his hand is a bomb or not. I’m going after these fuckers! It’s better than waiting for them to run me into a building. I don’t even give a shit about living anymore. I just want to kick that piece of shit in the face one time. Let him know nobody fucks with my family or my country.

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The Firechief says we have to go in and evacuate the buildings ASAP. They could go at any minute, though. I don’t know about this, that fire has been going on for almost a half an hour now. The thing doesn’t look too sturdy. If I’m in there, I’m done. I mean I got kids and a wife man. Why is my life less important than those people inside? You know what though, even if my life may is as important as theirs, I need to go in there for my kids. What kind of father am I if I don’t go? I would rather have them grow up without a father, than with one who is a coward. I would never be able to look them or my wife in the eye again. I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t do my job. I took all those oaths to help people. Where’s my integrity if I don’t go now? There are worse things than being dead, and one of those is being a man with no integrity. That’s what being a hero is about. It’s not a man who purposefully puts himself into danger. It’s a man who chooses integrity over safety. This is the life I signed up for. I’m supposed to help people who need it. It’s my job. My wife will understand that, but I sure hope she never has to.

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Praise be to Allah! Praise be to Allah! This is the day of reckoning!
Finally, the Americans will feel an ounce of the pain they have put us through. I see them living over there in their little world, pretending they are above it all. It is time they saw our reality. We are the people who suffer because they support Israel. My family’s house was ambushed, and ran over with a bulldozer. My daughter was inside. And, you think you know pain. You know nothing. People don’t just blow themselves up for nothing you know, they are pushed to do anything they can to strike back. And, it is about time the Americans feel my pain. Land of the free, home of the brave, huh? You call supporting an army that kills children and families simply to occupy land, brave. You are all cowards, so don’t give me your claim about innocent people dying. Was my daughter guilty when Israel crushed her frail body with a bulldozer?

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This man in front of me with the red bandana keeps screaming about Allah, which is his God. He just stabbed a man in the neck and killed a stewardess, and he is claiming this is God’s work. The man to my right, is praying a rosary, asking his God to help him through this. The woman next to me has cried so much, she no longer has tears left. She is holding her crucifix, begging God to save her, or at the very least make sure her family will be all right. You know what I say- fuck God! I don’t care if he is Allah, Jesus or any other name. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now on this plane about to die because some asshole thinks his God is better than mine or somebody else’s. For a being who preaches peace and love, I’ve never seen more people killed in his name. I don’t know though, maybe it’s not God who is fucked up, maybe it’s us. We humans are such extremists. We can’t just take a message for what it is and live it to the fullest. We have to form different sects that can fight each other over whose God is better. Maybe we all deserve to die. Maybe destroying ourselves is just in our nature. There is no good left in us.

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Lord, although I live in the Midwest, more than a thousand miles away, I still suffer from the hate that has conquered all of us today. It is a very dark moment for mankind, and I am hoping this simple prayer from one person among billions will start many others on the same path. The tragedy today is a crossroads for all of us, and this is my attempt to choose the right path. Everyone is worried about fixing the problems of world, but if they can just look inside and fix their own souls, the world will take care of itself. If enough people can fill their heart with love, then maybe this day will not be a tragedy, maybe it will be the day when the world had a choice, and took the right path. We can’t go on hating each other any longer. What happened was horrible, but what we do from here will determine if the horror lasts. This is my attempt to rid myself of the hate that was caused today.
I ask you to pray for not only myself, and those suffering from this terrible tragedy, but also those to blame. These are still your children. They were misguided. Pray for them, for they know not what they’ve done. This is what your son said, and this is what I will say. I hope you take mercy on these pour souls in Heaven with the angels and all those above. I also pray for those victims to have the strength not to hate, but also the capacity to forgive. This is my hope, and this is my fear. My hope that there is a chance for change, and my fear because I don’t know if we ever will. But, in my experience, fear is something that doesn’t last, and hope never dies. So maybe we have a chance. Amen.