Memories of a child

Darkness was my world, my memories, my childhood
I could hear someone, so far away, into the black the sounds disappear
from the dark comes the pain, the despair, sorrow, and grief
I feel the emotions that come from the sound in the darkness, so far away
then there is only the dark, blackness all around, then nothing.

The sounds coming closer, a light, so far away, why is it so dark
it hurts so much, the light, the sounds, please it must stay black
the darkness is my world, my death or my life, only in the blackness
do I exist, or not exist, awake or not, the sounds and the light, bring
so much pain and suffering, only want, into the darkness to disappear.

The noise is so loud, it's a child crying, sobbing, so much sorrow, so much pain
the child is alone, can no one hear the sobbing, the crying is filled with despair and loneliness.  Into the darkness must the child go, only in the blackness into nothing does the child belong, only in the dark into the black can we disappear.

Out of the blackness I can feel myself, have I been awakened into the light, I hear sounds
It is the child crying, no more tears can come from the child but still the child sobs uncontrollably, all alone in a world of light, of pain and suffering, sorrow and despair, the loneliness and fear I can feel the emotions of the child alone in the light. 

There is no one but the child in the light, the light getting closer and brighter.  I am afraid, scared, confused, alone, the pain of the child, I can not stop the pain, the hurt, it hurts from within my soul, deeper than my soul, it is my soul that is being crushed, must find the blackness only in the dark can we disappear.

I see a light, no sounds, only the light and loneliness and sadness, no sounds, no child, no crying.  Into the light I find myself coming, looking for something, wanting to find something but nothing in the light, all alone.  My eyes can see in the light a blur, I must see what is in the light, getting closer to… closer to…to.. to… the child standing alone and silent.  No movement, no sounds, the child stares but only darkness behind the staring eyes.  Who is the child left alone in the light, who has disappeared into the light, without a soul, without blackness, only in the dark can we disappear.

The light I am closer to seeing the child, the child is turning toward me, I can the face of the child, the child is … the child is…. the child is ME.  I feel the pain, the memories, the images, the death, the blood, the blood everywhere, my family, my parents, my brothers, disappearing into the blackness only in the dark can we disappear. 

The child stands alone in the light, who now has disappeared into the light, into the blackness, into my world, my memories, my childhood into the dark we have disappeared.