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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Fantasy · #1201944
Fantasy short story, based on Forgotten Realms. English CW, would appreciate comments.
Short Story Draft 1

L
ooking out upon the break of the sun, shielding his eyes from its blinding glare, Tos’un Armgo thought of what could have been, had he not allowed Khazid’hea, his sentient sword, to consume his thoughts. 
Tos’un stemmed from the city of Menzoberranzan, but had deserted the city during a raid upon Mithral Hall, choosing desertion over an existence in the diminishing Menzoberranzan, collapsing within itself.
Upon the surface world, Tos’un had befriended three other drow renegades, with whom he forged a plentiful life.  With these, he played a significant role in orchestrating the Orcish and Giant alliance, between Gerti Ortelsdottr and Obould Many-Arrows, culminating in the invasion to the very gates of Mithral Hall, the Dwarven Stronghold. However, in this invasion, Tos’un lost his three companions, destroyed by the wrath of another renegade drow, Drizzt Do’Urden.  His three companions, able and well trained, with two of the three females, the traditionally stronger, and more able of the two sexes, had been destroyed by Drizzt and his vicious scimitars.  Tos’un had heard of Drizzt in Menzoberranzan, a renegade who had chosen to betray Lloth, the Goddess of the Drow, and desert the Underdark, choosing the surface world as his homeland.   
As Tos’un had wandered the surface world, alone but for Khazid’hea, a group of Moon Elves tracked Tos’un, attempting to decide whether he was a renegade, similar to Drizzt Do’Urden, or still loyal to Lloth.  Upon witnessing the destruction of the orcish tribes he encountered, traditionally an ally to the Drow, the elves mistook him for another Drizzt Do’Urden, and allowed him to join with their camp.  Resisting Khazid’heas’ untoward pressures, he successfully integrated himself within the elvish society of the band, deflecting the constant pressures and promises of Khazid’hea, which yearned for destruction.  However, on the fateful day, Khazid’hea presented the problem of Drizzt Do’Urden, who knew of Tos’uns true heritage, and Tos’un faltered under Khazid’heas pressures, nearly striking the elf maiden that had encouraged his acceptance into the Moonwood clan, and then fleeing the encampment, to avoid the potential wrath of Drizzt.

Drizzt, with his elvish companion Innovandil, had travelled to the Moonwood in search of the body of his companion’s kin, Ellifain, whom Drizzt had killed in a tragic misunderstanding.  Drizzt sought Ellifain to relieve his soul of the torment which the death of Ellifain brought upon him.  Through the use of magic, Drizzt communed with Ellifain, setting both souls, dead and living, at rest with themselves. However, they had also encountered more pressing concerns, as he and Innovandil had witnessed the unnatural designs of the orcs, a chaotic and unpredictable race, operating in what appeared to be an orderly and consistent manner.  The worry of this apparent order was increased tenfold by the fact that the one cohesive factor, Obould Many-Arrows, who had succeeded in creating the concept of rank and order in the chaotic mentality of the orcs, had died at the scimitar of Drizzt, and his death was expected to lead to the collapse of the partial orcish society.  In addition, Drizzt was also aware that a lone drow elf, who had previously allied with Obould, was wandering the plains of Faerun.

Drizzt rose from his mediation, striding back towards the elven encampment, within the forest of the Moonwood.  Seeing his approach, his elven companion, Innovandil, joined him,
“How soon do you intend to leave the Moonwood?” she queried, increasing her pace to match with Drizzt.
“Within the day”, Drizzt replied “we cannot allow any of my kind to settle here, and act in their barbaric manner”.  Slowing Drizzt, Innovandil questioned,
“But what if he is a convert, as Silmaril states, and wishes to become one of us, much as you have.  Surely Drizzt Do’Urden, the goodly drow ranger, would not persecute someone because of the colour of their skin?”
“Indeed, I would hope that he has become truly good, and will become of the surface dwellers.  But I doubt that any goodly being would join with other dark elves, and ally with Obould, against the good peoples of Faerun.  After his experiences in Menzoberranzan, he is far more likely to have become a corrupt and evil being, happy to wreak havoc and destruction. The sword Khazid’hea also rests upon his hip, and will attempt to become more powerful through the death of others, and perhaps he knows something of Catti-brie and my other companions.”
“But you will try to save him?”
“As a follower of Mielikki, it is my aim to kill only when necessary and to not act in a prejudicial manner”
Drizzt then disappeared into a tent, gathering his possessions, and preparing for the chase to come…

                                      •  •  •  •  •

Clearing the Moonwood, Tos’un somewhat relaxed, astounded at the ease of his escape from the forest of the elves.  He thought back to his time in the City of Menzoberranzan, where any potential enemy to the Drow, would have led to an immediate hunting party, and the execution of the prisoner for the glory of Lloth.  Drow did not know the meaning of the words “mercy” and “kindness” he thought, amongst many other goodly terms, before realising that the mindset was much the same as his, as he would have never given the opportunity of survival to a potential threat.
All elves are evil. Khazid’hea interrupted; we should seek their death and destruction, as well as any other living beings on this plane.
But would it not benefit you and I, Tos’un replied, to convince the elves of our “good” nature, in the hope of insuring some safe passage from the most deadly beings on this surface?
They will now be aware of your actions, as they have met with the Do’Urden renegade.  You must aim to become as deadly as possibly, as the renegade will be sure to know of your presence, and will chase you, to seek revenge for the death of his companions.
Tos’un sensed an aura of finality from the sword, and decided it would benefit no one if he continued to consider those thoughts.  Moving swiftly through open plains, he chose to enter the mountains to the east.  He believed that they would offer greater protection from the drow elf, and would possibly lead to a route back to his homeland.


                                   

“He has the sword of Catti-brie,” Drizzt explained to Innovandil, “I must discover whether he knows anything of my friends.  Are you sure of your decision?”.
“I am, I will stary here to study the movements of the orcs with my people.  As you travel on foot, I will find you with Sunset, once we have news of the orcish developments.”
Drizzt turned, and bidding farewell to the clan, left in the direction of Tos’un, less than a day behind.  Drizzt hoped that his tracking skills, with some help from Guenhwyvar, would allow him to trace Tos’un, despite the qualities of their mutual race.  Realising that the trail was too faint for even his skills to decipher, Drizzt set the figurine upon a stone,
“Guen” he called softly.
An ethereal mist began to appear around the figurine, as a corporeal presence began to appear, solidifying into a panther.
“We need to find a certain drow Guen,” Drizzt instructed “you know who I mean”.  With a soft growl, the panther quickly sprung out, moving ahead of the drow.  With a roar of obvious pleasure, she accelerated through the forest, expecting Drizzt to stay with her, as they searched for their quarry.

                                      •  •  •  •  •

Meanwhile, Tos’un had entered the mountains of Nesme, where, unbeknownst to him, Obould had ordered his orcs to develop.  Spying smoke in the distance, Tos’un accelerated, with he and Khazid’hea both eager for blood.  Lying upon a rocky outcrop, Tos’un discovered a small hunting party of orcs, huddled round a campfire.  Dropping his hand to the hilt of Khazid’hea he sensed its hunger; as a trainee of Melee-Magthere, Tos’un had developed the most obvious of tactics from the weapons master, Ugenthal, known for his distinct style- striking hard and fast.
Leaping from the edge, with Khazid’hea in his right and a second in his right, he stabbed out with his left hand, disembowelling the lead orc, as he spun across to slice the orcs partner from shoulder to hip.  As a third orc approached, shield first, Tos’un rotated, reverse stabbing the orc through its shield and into its gut.  As the orc fell, purely because of Khazid’hea, one of the sharpest blades in all the realms, Tos’un, hardly breathing heavily, blocked a strike to his head with his left, and sliced across, severing the orcs legs from its body, to fall in a blood spraying heap. 
Moving across, he parried the thrusts of two orcs who were foolish enough to try and intercept him, and swiftly ran between them, reverse stabbing through their backs. 
Do not think, scream Khazid’hea in Tos’uns mind, reminding him of the work they had done about not planning his moves, but relying upon warrior instinct to battle, a much more assured way to duel, Khazid’hea had instructed him.  It was well known amongst the drow that Zaknafien, the finest weapons master Menzoberranzan had ever known, was an expert in this manner of fighting, and had taught it to his protégé, Drizzt.  Khazid’hea knew that unless Tos’un became adept at this manner of fighting, he would struggle to test Drizzt.
A duo then approached Tos’un, who blocked their twin strikes, rolling his blades under those of his opponents, pushing the blades upwards with a series of light parries. Throwing his second sword between the two, much tot their confusion, Tos’un swiftly threw a knife into the chest of the first, as the orcs partner turned, in the same movement, dropped, slicing through his opponents leather belt, and gherkins as though they were butter.  As the entrails spilled from the two, Tos’un moved to find his next opponent within the campsite, Two orcs fled up the mountainside, as Tos’un summoned a ball of darkness, surrounding the orcs, and sending them into panic, ending when their heads were severed by the dark elfs sword, spewing forth gore. Yes cried Khazid’hea within his head, the energy is great.  Tos'un surveyed the land, with most of the orcs lying upon the cold earth, and one fleeing up the mountainside.  Tos'un, more concerned with the spoils from the battle, casually threw a head to the side, as he adjusted his cloak, and wiped his swords upon the tunic of the disembowelled orc.  Ripping the dark cover from the wagon, he removed caskets of ale, with other foodstuffs within the caravan.  Pleased with his success, he decided to rest for awhile, before heading deeper into the mountains, presuming that Drizzt, and any other elven trackers were at least half a day behind.  Awaking a short while later, Tos'un repacked his rucksack, and began to head into the deeper regions of the Nether Mountains.  Despite the constant influence of Khazid’hea, telling him how he could best the Drow Ranger in battle, Tos'un was far less confident, and angry with himself for wasting so much time, in an area with so little shelter.  It is no matter; we shall defeat him in time.  You just need more practice, and more confidence, Khazid’hea lectured, do not be so weak, you are the most powerful wielder I have yet had, and I do not appreciate failure!
As the night descended upon the Nether Mountains, Tos'un became increasingly more confident, as he slipped into his natural infravision, seeing through the amount of heat emitted by objects, as he was brought up with in Menzoberranzan. Reaching the peak of the first mountain, he gained in his confidence, assured of himself, despite the warnings he had received from many as to the dangers of the Nether Mountains.  He was sure that nothing present in the surface world could match the dangers present in the Underdark, such as ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬____________________, and was confident that he could safely progress through the mountains, with little distractions.  Stepping forward, he suddenly lost his footing, plunging down the cliff face, head over heels, as rocks and boulders plummeted down from above him.  Suddenly slamming into solid ground, Tos'un curled into the foetal position, desperate to protect himself, as a boulder smashed into the edge behind him, severely weakening the ledge upon which he lay, and sending him into freefall once more. Falling once more, he attempted to enact a spell of levitation, somewhat lessening the speed of his fall, as he crashed into the foot of the cliff. 

                                      •  •  •  •  •

Clearing the Moonwood Forest in less than half a day, Drizzt sent Guenhwyvar back to her astral plane, not sure, in such unpredictable territory such as the plains, with the orcs demonstrating uncanny organisation, when she would be required again. Scouting the land ahead of him, Drizzt decided that from the tracks, Tos'un must have chosen to go to the Nether Mountains, a strange choice for one unused to the area, he thought.  Sprinting along the flat ground, uncommon in the far north of Faerun, Drizzt travelled far faster than could be expected. This was explained by the enchanted bracelets he wore around his ankles, enabling his feet to move with speed beyond the norm.  He gathered these from the former weapons master of House Baenre, during his last reconnaissance into the Underdark, after defeating him in battle, much to the displeasure of the First House of Menzoberranzan, as he was the most deadly warrior in all of Menzoberranzan.

This is the beginning to the short story, and will be added to as I progress.  I would really appreciate any opinions at all, as well as any thoughts on how I could improve it.  Please do comment, you could influence my A-level grade.  Thank you very much,

Nicholas Langen

(PS, I would offer gift points, but as a new user, I don't have many! Thanks again)
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