My Beautiful Escape

There I stand, mouth agape,
my body hollow and incomplete,
my soul sputters, half alive,
Right in front of you, there, I died.

You said I was the one, said you really cared,
I'll tell you the truth now, I was so scared.

You changed your mind, pushed me out,
Your words, they cut so deep,
Like a knife, cutting my heart out.

Take a look at me now, a shell of what once was,
A man with a haunting smile, a dying light in his eyes,
scornful laughter were once there was delight,
Longing instead of fullfillment, apathy instead of drive.

So here I am, the lost soul, a broken man,
The one who once was but never shall be again,
Slipping into a shadowed background,
Left behind, mocked, and forgotten.

Why, I ask, should I live out this fallacy,
dragging this frame to a life not worth living,
torturing myself every time I see someone else that is happy,
and hating them for it.

I sit here, in my room, lost in nostalgia of love lost,
I screw my eyes up, blink away my cold tears,
My thoughts center not on revenge, but of escape.

I take up my knife and slash deep,
red despair splashes out onto my sheets,
the blade works in, cutting out all of the pity,
I can feel the sorrow bleeding out of me,
The hatred flows free,
No longer bound to me.

At the last, I look around weakly,
noticing the mess I've made,
not only of the bedroom but of living as well,
and hope that I'll be missed,
but in my last thought,
I know in two weeks,
I'll be the same as in life,
Left behind, mocked, and forgotten.

There I lay,
The job you started, I finished,
My only hope is that I would be forgiven.