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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1237884-The-causality-demon
Rated: E · Other · Satire · #1237884
The causality demon,..explains
Hi there,...

Some of you know me very well, and some of you hardly notice me at all,... Usually because my services are redundant in your case,... Even if you’ve the foggiest notion of who I am, you’ve used my services daily,..

I’m the one who slips your keys back into the ignition or onto the phone stand, as you firmly close the locked door,... Yes, I’m the one who distracts the bus or cab driver so they never see you and make you an hour late for that important appointment,... We wont even go into the things I’m involved in at the airlines.

I’m intimately involved in your every day lives,... I’m there holding back the ketchup till you shake it too hard, staining that white silk shirt on the very first wear,... The same trick works with the toothpaste,.. and it’s nothing to nick your razor so you get to look for the styptic pencil that I hid,... I herd the dust bunnies out of the reach of your very best cleaning effort, and parade them out into the open when your boss or pastor is over for tea,.. or even as a special treat I wait for the old gossip from down the street to come by and cover her feet in them so she can tell the whole town what a slovenly case you are.

I’m the one who distributes the crayons to the visiting four year olds and point out the canvas possibilities of the freshly painted dining room,... Or explain to them how much pleasure can be derived from giving old fluffy a bath in the dishwasher, sometimes I’ll point out that the pages to your cookbook collection need revision or rearranging,... Of course I really don’t have time to fill them in on how to put the pages back in the bindings,... Then there’s the rare chance when I show them where you hid your porn mags or your favorite,.. uh,..."toys", and point out that their mom would love to see them,.. all such good fun.

Yeah, it’s me that causes the truck to empty the contents of that dirty old puddle onto you as you come out with all your fresh dry-cleaning, or to give you the notion to pause below the collection of diuretic pigeons just as they purge.

These things and much more are part of our daily interaction,... Of course there’s a reason beyond my personal gratification in this job,... Yeah the big picture is that you need to be so involved in your petty stuff so that you can’t advance to the point of space travel,.. Yes, aside from keeping track of you,... They’ll  have enough problems of their own out there,... Neat, huh?

Hey! what are you looking at me like that for?... Uh, yeah, gotta go,.. bye,..........................
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