How does it end?

How does it end?

What am I feeling now,
After the tears have ceased?
A dull pain
Now, once again hidden,
In the depths of my heart
There it will stay,
Until once again the hurt refuses
To stay hidden away
And emerges through my soul
Bringing tears, unexplainable sobs
That come from deep within
Not ceasing, till my tears are gone
And once again I can hide my hurt
Deep within myself
Where no one can find them

With the tears and following dull throb
Comes a temptation
So strong, it take all my will to withstand
That urge and want to end it all.
Some pills, as many as I can
It could all be over
No more pain, or hurt, or tears
To end my life.

But I know I must overcome this tempting urge
Life does hold happiness
And I draw on that
In the attempt to overcome my mood
The deep, sorrowful mood
That will descend on me
Covering me, drowning me
With the sweet sound of a solution

But I think of my closest friends
And the one I love
It would cause them so much hurt
So many questions

The questions come,
Where would I go,
If I died tonight?
I do not know
The questions, complicated
Only adding to the mood

I feel as though I am drowning
In a flood of emotions and questions
Covering me until all I can do is cry again
And yet I do not
Still the throb may worsen, but I do not cry
I try to move myself from my mood.
The temptations, the questions, the fears
They overcome me until
I become thoroughly confused
All I can do is sleep
Sleep will bring dreams
Some good, some bad
But either will release me from my mood
A rest from the questions
When I wake things return,
But in a lessened form
For a while, sleep will cease all thought

It is the same routine
Repeated over and over
The tears, the questions, the confusion
And then sleep will come to claim me
In my unconscious state
I free from all
But when will it end
When will I escape from unexplainable tears
Is there an escape?

You hear that you must find an answer within yourself
All I find are questions
Questions with no answers
When will it end?
The tears, the emotions
When will it end?