Remembering

Apathetic thoughts flood her mind.
'What do you want to do?'
someone nearby asks.
A frustrated sigh is heard
when an indifferent shrug
is given in response.

Her mind begins to wander,
for the hundredth time today.
When did she stop caring?
She questions herself,
as she watches the world
zoom by outside the
car's passenger window.

Then she remembers.
It was the reaction to
the realization that
nothing last forever.
She sits there eyes closed,
as a faint smile graces her lips,
and she remembers.

She remembers the
carefree attitude she once carried,
how she never used to
second guess anything or anyone.

She remembers how
she made a family
contained of a bunch of outsiders,
those who, like her, needed to belong.

But then those memories of
love and belonging begin to fade
as those of hurt and loneliness
take over, as they always do.

Now the memories of
her makeshift family falling to dust
are filtering through her mind
and, try as she might,
she can't stop them from taking over.

She remembers the day it ended
the day she found out
that he was far from faithful.
And how it broke her heart
when she realized that this meant
she could no longer trust him.

She remembers the day that followed:
both of them standing there,
tears racing down her face as she asks why
and how he looked away and sighed,
then simply said sorry.

She remembers the day
when her best friend
made her choose: him or her.
And when she gave no response,
she remembers how her friend walked away
as she watched through tears.

She remembers the day
he told her he could
no longer see or talk to her,
because his girl didn't like
them being friends.

And she remembers the days
she wished she could call them.
Wishing they could take away the loneliness
that overcomes her sometimes
when she thinks of them.

A loud exclamation
snaps her out of her daze
a cigarette is lit, a drink is opened
as she attempts to forget
what she can't help but remember.