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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1291885-Tales-of-an-answering-machine
Rated: 13+ · Other · Comedy · #1291885
First thing when he comes home, Victor always checks his messages...
Hey, this is Victor, you've reached my place. Can't talk right now. leave a messa...

*BeepBeepBeepBeepBeep*

You have 5 new messages:

Message one:*Beep* Hey Vic, It's Susan. Where are you? Just callin' to make sure we're still for sushi tonight. Call me back when you get home. Bye.

Message two:*Beep* Hello Victor. Remember Me? If not, allow me to jog your memory. It's me, Alex. You remember me, right? You know, Alex, as in THE CHICK YOU SCREWED IN THE MENS BATHROOM AT A BAR IN ALABAMA AND NEVER TALKED TO AGAIN, THE ONE WHO, it turns out, YOU KNOCKED UP? Well guess what? I've finally tracked you down and you've got some explaning to do. I'm gonna give you ONE chance to talk this out. Meet me at the sushi joint downtown in 1 hour. You'd BETTER be there. See ya soon.

Message three: *Beep* Heeeey Vic, Guess who? Alex again. You never showed up for our little meeting, but that's OK, 'cause I met the nicest girl there. Maybe you know her? Susan Foster? 'bout five-eight? Nice blond hair. Picture of you in her purse? Oh, she's a tough one, she is. Of corse, it's hard to be tough, when you're tied up in a trunk, ain't it? I'm gonna give you ONE last chance to save her. Come to the construction site at Warren road by midnight if you ever wan't to see her again!

Message four:*Beep* Vic, Vic, PICK UP VIC! For God's sake PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE! I was waitin' for you at the sushi palce when this crazy woman walks in asking if anyone's seen you. I tell her you're my boyfriend and she flips out. She maces me in the face, then hits me with something and I black out. When I come to, I'm tied up in her car trunk, being taken God-knows-where. She didn't tie me tight enough and I got to my cell. Vic, you've got to help! We haven't been driving for that long, so we're still pretty close by. I'm calling the cops next and....Oh God...we stopped....Vic...I-I-I Gotta Go...i-i-i Love you and hey! what do you thing you're doing! Give me that! So Vic, Your girl's a smart one too? Let's see how that brain helps her when shes six feet under

Message five:*Beep* Hello, this is Mary from Blockbuster Video, calling in reference to some overdue fines. It seems you rented Weekend at Bernie's II three weeks ago and never returned it. This accumulates total late fees of $13.74. We at Blockbuster seek to provide all our customers with the optimal movie rental experience. Please keep in mind all the other people who may wish to view this movie, but are unable to do so while it is in you possession. Thank you, and have a nice day

End of messages
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