Rocket Drive Love

Rocket Drive Love

Love. The word fills me with equal measures of dread and hope. Sometimes, it ensnares me in the web of another’s loneliness, her desperation wrapping me up, sucking me dry, leaving my heart a desiccated shell of what it once was. Other times, it liberates me, giving my heart wings to soar above the pain of my own loneliness, touching Heaven itself with gratitude, connecting me with the entire universe through that moment of transcendent bliss.

I dream of love, longing for it, fantasizing about it, yet I live a life of solitude. I despair over this black hole in my life, my disillusionment abysmal in its magnitude. I try to bridge the gap between my fantasy of love and its reality, but the building of that crossing takes forever, with no measurable result. After all the hard work, I am still left hanging by a thread of hope, my lifeline disappearing into vast emptiness. I chase about the universe, Love the rocket drive pushing me into the furthest reaches of the unknown, only to return empty-handed, except for the tears I wipe from my eyes as I land upon the launch pad of my despair.