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Rated: E · Chapter · Family · #1307006
Marley confronts her past.
She stepped out of her red 1968 Mustang convertible feeling edgy. The excitement Marley Jamison felt when she left Chicago for a long visit to her New England home town had nearly turned to dread. In the years since her brother’s drowning, what little family connections were left, had completely unraveled. The rift that emerged between her parents had never mended, sending them off in separate directions, and they found it easy to ignore the fact that they had a daughter who still needed them. Words didn’t come easy, and the communication eventually stopped altogether.

Now at 32, with two failed relationships behind her, Marley knew it was time to revisit her childhood home and try to mend the hole that had settled in her heart. Intuitively, she knew it was important to find closure to the past in order to gain the freedom to explore the future. She had taken a month’s leave of absence from the Tribune, and felt safe knowing she could come back if things didn’t work out. But God was she scared! It was like starting over in a place that was only remotely familiar.

She filled the tank with gas, and ran inside the mini mart to grab a bottled water. It was only a ten minute drive from here to her mother’s house in Attleboro. The city of Providence looked to have gone through a lot of development—she would definitely make a point of taking a closer look when time allowed. Cities always excited her, but Providence always struck her as being boring and dirty. What she could see of it now made her smile. Revitalized…it seemed to breathe life. As she drove toward the state line, Marley made a mental note to do a little research on the changes that had taken place there in recent years.

The wind, warm and inviting, whipped through her dark shoulder-length hair as she maneuvered onto the highway heading toward Massachusetts. She swore softly as she navigated the heavy traffic and road construction. What should have taken less than ten minutes took nearly twenty. Finally, she crossed the state line; the exit for Attleboro just minutes away. Her anxiety seemed to be getting the best of her so she concentrated on taking slow, deep breaths. Finally able to process her surroundings, she found herself surprised that everything looked the same. Trees still lined the walkways, just bigger than she remembered. Everything was more mature…a bit more crowded, but generally the same.

Her hands started shaking as she made the left turn onto Roland Drive. Wishing now that she had called and told her mother she was coming, Marley felt a shiver of fear she didn’t know how to define. She pulled into the driveway and threw the car into park. She had few ties to this house; it was very different from the house she and Jack grew up in on the water in Warwick. Her mother had lived here since her divorce eight years prior. The house had not changed. A two-story boxed colonial with beige siding and hunter green trim, the yard was loaded with azaleas in bloom and the rhododendron blossoms were soon to follow. She ignored the weeds she saw growing in the flower beds.

Combing her fingers through her hair, she took another sip of water. It didn’t help. Stoically, Marley grabbed her purse, got out of the car and marched up to the front door. She clasped her hands together to stop the shaking…then bravely rang the doorbell.

After what seemed like forever, her mother answered the door wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Not exactly Grace’s style, but things have a way of changing. She looked so much older than Marley remembered.

“Oh my God! Marley…what are you doing here? I had no idea you were coming!”

Marley just stood there…observing. She peered inside. The furniture, though dingy, looked familiar.

”Hi Mom.”

“Please come in…you look wonderful.” Grace stepped aside, opening the entranceway.

Marley cautiously stepped in, taking in a full view of her surroundings. She recognized many of the pictures, photographs and furniture. Reconnecting with Grace was like stepping through time. In a matter of seconds she became the child she left behind so long ago. She could see herself in shorts and a ponytail. Marley wondered for a split second how her mother saw her. Before she could even complete that image, she spotted a man walking toward her wearing a muscle shirt and zipping his fly. Great! She had re-entered her mother’s world and walked right into her sex life. Either that or the guy was comfortable walking out of the bathroom undone. Marley didn’t wait for introductions. She marched right up and offered her hand…introducing herself. After a tense moment, he took her hand and told her his name was Gavin. His hands were sweaty. A bad sign. She took a long look at him. Medium build, fairly muscular. Full head of hair, graying at the temples. Not bad. If she had to guess…she would bet he was ten years younger than her mother. He smelled of smoke…causing Marley to turn up her nose.

The entire house smelled like smoke. Had her mother taking up smoking since the last time she had been here? “Listen, Mom…I didn’t mean to interrupt. It was rude of me to show up unannounced. Why don’t I give you a call and set up a more convenient time?”

Grace immediately started babbling something about offering lunch. Marley didn’t give her a chance; she’d had enough. “No thanks, Mom…I’ve already eaten.” She started to head toward the door but thought better of it and turned around to offer her hand to Gavin again. “It was a pleasure meeting you. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.” Turning to leave, she stopped quickly to give her mother a brief hug. “Mom…I’ll call you.”

She was out of the house in a flash. Suddenly, Marley the writer almost seemed like a former life. As she jumped in her convertible and settled in the seat, she felt safe… almost comforted. Jack bought the car with his own money only six months before he died. He had aspirations of restoring it and making it a show piece. Over the years she spent money trying to do just that. Marley hoped that Jack could see her efforts, and knew only that she felt a strange connection with him through that car. She waved at no one in particular as she backed out of the driveway. As she slowly made her way through town, Marley let the breeze move over her, soothing in its caress. She felt much better by the time she hit the highway. Her next stop was the old house in Warwick. She needed to see something familiar.

Less than a half hour later, Marley was driving through Apponaug. She was amazed at the changes that had taken place. Gone was the corner liquor store, Mister Donut and the gas station. In their place were Walgreens and a branch of the Pawtucket Credit Union. Condominiums and apartment complexes had gone up a couple of blocks away, giving an overall impression of cramped living. An older, historic home on Post Road had been beautifully renovated and was now home to The Remington House Inn, a restaurant offering good fare in a classic, time-honored setting. Sadly, Marley had yet to feel the comfort she expected to find here.

She turned left just past the restaurant, driving along the water past the bait shop and Apponaug Cove Marina. The marina housed an entire gamut of vessels from sailing and cruising yachts to pleasure boats and quahog skiffs. It was a nearly flawless reflection of the people who made up this seaside community. Apponaug Cove was mixture of middle class working professionals—from the educated to the blue collar laborers and the men who spent their lives working on the water. Though it did not have the perfection of the more pristine village of Wickford a few miles farther south, in its own way, Apponaug Cove was a quaint New England town.

The street bared off to the right, past the Crow’s Nest—a popular restaurant with a long-standing reputation for good seafood. Marley was pleased to see it looked the same; the parking lot was packed which meant business was good. She maneuvered the convertible around the winding, hilly roads past houses she had not seen in years. Finally, she turned at the end of the cove and there it was. Painted a sunny yellow-gold, the new owners had added on a front porch that ran the full length of the house. Adirondack chairs were situated at one end. At the other end, a porch swing hung lazily, almost beckoning someone to climb in it. Numerous planters of gorgeous red geraniums hung from the porch roof, inviting visitors to come calling. As she took in every detail, tears slid silently down Marley’s cheeks—pleased that her house was being well cared for but sad it was no longer home. Silently, she drove a short distance past the house and parked at the edge of the woods that bordered the water. She was on the beach that day…and had not been back since. It was an important part of her journey.

Marley climbed out of the car near the path they always took. She closed the car door feeling very anxious about what lay ahead. Walking slowly, her legs felt like they weighed 100 pounds—each step taking more effort than the one before it. Marley followed the sandy path to the shore. When she reached the water’s edge, pain immediately enveloped her like nothing she had ever felt before. It was all-consuming. Before she even knew what had happened, she had gone back to that day…waiting on the shore, in a panic when Jack didn’t surface. Grabbing her chest in an effort to breathe, she crouched…and started to cry. Reliving this experience was so much harder than she had imagined. Jack’s friends, Nate and Jason, had immediately jumped in and swam out to try and rescue him. They each came up to the surface sputtering water, hanging onto the overturned raft, and going down again. The next thing Marley remembered was the rescue team pulling Jack’s body out of the water. She curled in a ball and sobbed for what seemed like hours.

Finally pulling herself together, she looked around noting familiar sites across the bay. As she closed her eyes against the still falling tears, Marley could feel the sun on her face and hear the water lapping against the shore. In another place and time, it would have painted a peaceful picture. But to Marley, there was an ugliness to it she couldn’t get around. Ten years later—almost to the day—the memories were as fresh as if the accident happened last week. Suddenly, Marley felt a presence beside her. She looked up. It was Nate. The last person she expected to see…although she wasn’t sure why. He had tears in his eyes. Marley stood and put her arms around him. Nate was on the wrestling team in high school. His physical strength gave him a commanding presence. Back then, Marley remembered how Nate blamed himself for not being able to save Jack. Even all these years later, it was clear Jack’s death had had a profound effect. Marley’s heart went out to him. As they held each other, he whispered “It’s good to see you.” Marley just held him tighter. Finally stepping back, they started walking together up the path to the road.

Nate grinned when he saw the car. “You still have her!” he exclaimed. “I haven’t been able to part with it,” explained Marley. “It’s the one piece I have left of my former life.”

“She looks incredible! You’ve been restoring her,” he commented.

“It was Jack’s dream,” Marley said simply.

“Why don’t you come up to the house,” Nate suggested. “My parents retired to Florida a few years back and I decided to buy their house. I just couldn’t stand the thought of someone else living in it,” he said with a laugh. Marley didn’t respond, but glancing at her childhood home, she knew exactly how he felt.

“Sure,” Marley said after a minute. “There’s so much to catch up on! What have you been doing with yourself for the past eight years? I heard you graduated from Springfield College a few years ago.”

“Yeah…between the wrestling and football in high school, I had a couple of scholarships,” Nate explained as they started the walk toward his house. “My grades were decent, so I definitely had options. I just decided to combine what I love most…sports and teaching. I’m the Assistant Athletic Director at the high school.”

“Wow, Nate…that’s great!” exclaimed Marley. “I bet the kids really keep you on your toes.”

“That’s no joke,” Nate laughed. “But they’re great kids. I rope them into helping me with the Special Olympics every summer. Got a lot of complaints at first…but they really get a lot out of it. I have kids begging to be involved now. They love it. Some of them even got their parents involved. Best thing I ever did.”

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