I Will Never Love Again

I will never love again
No one can replace him
I need him
Every ounce of my being is torn
My heart now so distorted it retreats to hiding
Wrapped and tucked away,
Hidden behind ivory bars

How could I possibly move past him?
Those haunting brown eyes,
The picturesque physique
The hair, like blackened chocolate,
Dark as the cloud looming over my head
His breath, my breath, our air
Swirling about so seductively
Sliding past my lips, filling my lungs,
Meandering through my chest and enticing my body

I was lured into this daze
And vulnerable and foolish I fell
The hollow beat of desire controlling my body,
Conniving a pattern in which my steps were to move
Faster and faster these beats became
More intricate and complex
Forcing me along until a second path was in sight
My body collided with another
Entangling us instantly into this quick-step of despair
Faster and faster and faster were the beats
Each of us barely landing one step before being thrown into another
Grasping his hand I tried to keep up
Spinning so fast I couldn't even see clearly
Turning into one giant force of gravity pulling us apart
This terminal spin, this deadly vortex, this omnipotent cyclone
And abruptly it stopped-
But my body was still moving
Still stuck in the entrails of the spin
Given no time to slow down before I was flung into the impassive floor of despair

And hard my body fell
Really hard
So hard that never again do I want to feel that pain
Even the memory devours bits and pieces of my heart
Endlessly wounding it, disappearing, then attacking again at random
Coming not to fulfill a hunger, not to ensure its survival, but for the sheer pleasure of harming an innocent organ,
For the thrill of torture
Leaving my heart so scarred that nothing could get through the frigid walls and ignite even a single beat
Not even a fraction of a beat
Not even the thought of a beat

So never again,
Never again will I love.