No apologies for being me.

I have had to sacrifice,
A great deal in my life
I have gone without many things
To help others that were in strife.

My life has never been easy
I would not wish it upon anyone,
But I am compelled to explain
The reasons behind the person I've become.

My childhood was a nightmare,
A spiraling vortex of abuse.
My depression began its journey
While I choked in my parents noose.

I was the eldest child,
Within a family of four.
The creation of two alcoholics
So, their full brunt, I wore.

I always protected my siblings
The best I could possibly do,
Many times I went to hospital
Wanting to take them with me too.

I have been kicked and punched,
Left to lie in my own blood on the ground.
Many times I was hit until,
Darkness came, there was no sound.

When my 16th birthday arrived,
I left home to never return,
Convincing myself I was worth more,
From my childhood, I would learn.

I ventured into the big wide world
My heart full of hope, stars in my eyes,
I quickly became prey to psychic vampires
Friends of mine in disguise.

I was always their shoulder to cry upon
For them when they were down,
I gave the best of me to these people
When there was no one else around.

I put my own problems to the side
To help them in their times of need
I was always the one to nurse them,
To plant within them a happy seed.

When my life fell apart around me,
And I was sinking in despair
I frantically looked around,
And no one was there.

I medicated myself with many things
Drugs and alcohol became my life,
My only sense of relief
Came from the blade of a knife.

I was drowning in my depression
For many years I walked a fine line,
I could have been spared this battle
If I had been worth someone's time.

The person I used to be was weak,
Shallow and too naieve,
So, I recreated my self
I gave myself a second reprieve.

Now I am nasty and abrupt
I don't care what others see
You can love me or not,
It makes no difference to me.

On occasion I may tell you to,
Fuck off and leave me alone
It would do you well to listen
To the warning in my tone.

If you push me, I push back
I will never back down,
I will not ask you why?
You are wearing that frown.

I can be nasty and spiteful
This I do not hide,
My moods are known to change
As swiftly as the oceans tide.

I am overly opinionated
I will not apologize.
I do not put up with
People telling me lies.

I do not tolerate people
That do not tell it straight,
I do not consider this to be
A flattering personality trait.

If sometimes I am quiet
Then I have nothing to say,
I do not waste my time
Talking idle shit all day.

I have been known to be ignorant,
When I am lost in my thoughts
I will not apologize to you
If this puts you out of sorts.

You are probably thinking
I sound like an evil witch,
But I am beyond caring
I have been moulded into a bitch.

Kristy is on a warpath,
Her heart, no one will ever see.
I hope you can understand
Why I make no apologies, for being me

I will never allow myself
To walk the line I did before,
The weak Kristy is dead
She will return never more.