game play

game play

i am the only one who will ever
ever ever bring into this ever ever comtemplate this
i am contemplating futures burning dying falling around me
i am the only one who will ever understand ever understand what's in my
in my in my head i
shaking screaming back and forth arms wrapped around wounded knees i--
shuddering back and forth i--
i could tell you but i'd be afraid yes
i could tell you but i'd be ashamed
i don't know how much longer i can take
can't stand anymore i can't stand anymore i
the corners of my bed reak
they reak of fear and panic
panic is all i know it's all i've ever taken hold
dear god i've been in this so long this fight so long
i'm fighting the broken ones and here i am alive
standing in rubble the burning rubble of catastrophe
and horrificness
and you may say i've won
but all that's ever brought me
all that's ever brought me is self-guilt
because i haven't no i haven't haven't haven't
i am not a winner between
broken planks of rubble while you are
lounging in the sky lounging away up high
you are watching me
watching the way you always used to do i DESPISE YOU
but i guess
it's safe to say you won because i'm still here
and i still see you in my dreams and you--
you are far away from these means.