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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1350245-Untitled
by noelle
Rated: 13+ · Fiction · Drama · #1350245
Two versions of almost the same story.
Sylvester's Version:

Do you know what it feels like to be in complete love with someone but they only consider you as a friend? and of course you don't want to ruin what you already have by saying the wrong thing. And she tells you everything about her, including details about her relationships. You hate hearing about them, yet you can't turn her away.
You want so badly for her to be talking about you. And when she's telling you all of these things you know in the back of your head she goes out every night with the wrong guy but at the same time you're glad to see her happy no matter what, even if its not with you.
That feeling is torture, utter complete pain. It's like every time you see her and her boyfriend is kills away a part of your soul. and you can't do anything but get over it. Put on a fake, but convincing smile, and be her best friend.
I mean what else can you do? It's either be her best friend or nothing to her at all. And that's not an option to you. So you bare it and go on with your life. Even though you want to scream out "I'm the guy for you! no one can love you like me! no one in the world" but you keep your mouth shut, making sure as to say nothing that would hint to your true feelings.
Then there's the times she comes to you crying, looking for some one to confide in. Those are the times that kill you the most. To see her soo unhappy because of a guy. She sits there crying, questioning all men in the world. She asks to you "is there any guy out there that could really love me?" Of course you want to point to your self, but you don't. Instead you just tell her to keep looking, hoping she stumbles upon you. She gives you this sad, almost forced smile.
You reach up to her face and wipe the tears from her eyes as if you were wipping the sorrow from her life. She closes her eyes softly in reaction to your gentle touch. At that moment you almost tell her everything. You almost tell her you love her; that you've always loved her.
Then she hugs you. She wraps her arms around you, as if she were holding you for dear life. You hug her back without even thinking. Her head laying on your chest. You're hoping she can't feel or hear your heart beat so fast.
You sit there for a minute, holding her. To you, it felt like hours. You feel as if you'll never let her go and for an instant you think to yourself you wont. You'll hold her, sheltering her from all the evils of the world. all the bad guys that would hurt her.
The she gives a slight pull and you let her go. and you feel like you're letting her go just to get hurt again. You want to say something and you almost do, but you stop yourself. She looks at you, her face inches from yours, with her soft sky blue eyes with the strain of just crying and says to you "You're a really good friend." The best she's ever had.
And as shes telling you this you want to stop her and tell her how you feel. How can you sit there and have her say that to you and feel the way you do? You can't, you just can't.
So you tell her you don't mean to. It just flows out of you like water from a fountain. In your own head you're asking yourself "what am i doing?! stop fool." But you don't. You just keep going, on and on. And as you tell her this she's looking at you with this look. You can't tell if its shock, amazement, or total and complete digust.
You pray to God that its amazement cause maybe just maybe by the gace God that she feels the same way. Then you hope its shock, cause then that means she doesn't know what to think. At least that way she can't think disgusted of you.
Then you finish. you finish spilling your whole heart to her. She goes silent for what feels like forever. You ask yourself, can it get any worse. Then at that instant you kiss her. You kiss her with the fiery passion of a thousand burning flames. And for an instant she kisses you back. Everything is how it should be then she pulls away and says i have to go.
She gets up and gets her stuff, you say sorry and she leaves. The door shuts, you never in your life thought a door shutting could hurt you so much. You sit there not knowing what to do. You want to chase after her, but can't move your legs.
Then the door flys open and she comes running in. At first you think that you're dreaming. Maybe all of it had been some really convincing dream you had and this was the best part. But when she kissed you, you knew that it was real. and at that moment nothing else seemed to matter. Not her boyfriend, or used to be boyfriend. Not a scary scene before, nothing. Just you and her, the way it was supposed to be.

Noelle's Reply Version; Nov 19:
Do you know what it feels like to be in complete love with someone, but they only consider you as a close friend? Of course you don't want to ruin what you already have by saying the wrong thing. Why should you? You're suppsoe to be happy with this new guy you thought you liked. You wouldn't want to be with someone and admit feelings for someone else. That's wrong. Lowest of the low. It'd almost feel like cheating.
So when you tell your friend all the details about your relationship you secretly wish he'd speak up. In your dreams you want to recreate the wonderful time you had with your best guy friend turned boyfriend. But in reality, its oppostie. Its him listening to you go on about your seemingly great "relationship". He smiles at you, that "good for you" type smile you wish he'd never give you.
I mean, what can you do? It's either he be your best friend and listen to your drama or never see him again because he has a girlfriend and adores her only. And neither is an option for you. That's why you only tell him small details and secretly wonder what he thinks of you. You hope that one day he'd scream, "I'm the guy for you! No one can love you like me! No one in the world!" But its just a dream. What man would be brave enough to do that, right?
Then there's those times you go to him crying. Putting him on the spot. Making sure you ask him, "is there any guy out there that could really love me?" you so desperately want him to shyly point to himself, but he doesn't. He just reassures you, "You haven't found him yet" and "Keep looking". You can't help but force a smile. That's not what you want to hear. You want him to pour his heart out, since you're not daring enough to. All you can really do it let him wipe your tears, and wrap your arms around him. But since he's just your best friend, you have to let go. Although you felt so safe, you have to return to your secret feelings and a boring relationship. "You're a really good friend," you say with a choked voice, "the best i've ever had".
He looks at you with this determined face. As if he's about to tell you something so important, you have to listen. You have to return the eye contact. That's when he says it all. He admits those feelings you felt as well. It almost shocks you in a way. As though he read your mind. It's what you wanted all along. To hear the veracity and emotion of what you both really feel.
He kisses you, so passionately, that you wish it could last forever. But you must pull away. For the sake of the boyfriend you supposeably still have. "I have to go" you slowly say. Probably making him feel awkward and ashamed for what he'd just done. But on the contrary, you shut his door to break up with whats-his-face so you can be happy for the rest of your life.
And when you open the door to come back inside, you kiss him like you've never kissed anybody before. It is real. These feelings confessed in this room, is what you wanted all along. Just you and him, the way it was always supposed to be. :)
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