Divine Experiments

Divine Experiments

         “Are you ever going to give up?”
         The Omnipotent One shrugged at me.
         “I think I’ve got it down this time.  I really think so.”
         “You thought the same thing about Venus.  And Mercury.”
         “Well, how was I to know they would rebel quite so soon?”
         I grasped some of the Stuff of Life in my hands, letting it run through my taloned fingers.
         “So you obliterated them with a firestorm, plucked Mercury out of the sky and placed it next to the sun?”
         He stroked his beard with a strong young hand, turning towards me across the study where we sat.
         “I’ll admit, I was perhaps a little overzealous in my purging of Venus.  But it turns out that the repositioning of Mercury will place Earth in a more stable orbit.”
         I shrugged, unimpressed.  Licking my lips nervously, I squared my shoulders and addressed the Almighty.
         “Sir, I’m not entirely sure this is such a good idea.  And you don’t need to prove yourself to any of us; all the angels believe in you and your power.”
         He sighed.
         “I understand, Lucifer, but perhaps I’m doing this for myself.  Perhaps I feel that I must do something with the power I’ve been given, the power inexplicably bestowed upon me at the moment of my inception.”
         “Timeless and ageless I was aware of, Lord, but this is the first time I would describe you as witless.  What is that power for if not to rule as you see fit?  You have given them far too much choice.  Simply command them to obey, and those whose weak minds are not snuffed out at the sound of your voice will instantly adhere to your commands.”
         “Lucifer, I need to prove this to myself.  If they do not consider me worthy, how can I ever consider myself worthy?  How is the Lord of All to judge himself?”
         I couldn’t take it anymore.  Here was God himself, casting away all the potential he had.  As he spoke he molded some of the stuff of life into a being, crafted in his image.  I snatched it from his hand and began to shape it with my own hands.
         “What is created can be altered, fool.  It takes a master to chisel stone, but any fool can work with clay.”
         So saying, I placed my perversion of his creation at his feet.  I wondered how long it would be before he noticed the subtle alterations I had made- the augmentation of the breasts, the absence of the penis.  Soon, he would gift his new servant with a companion, as he had done before- initial experiments had displayed that only with a similar being would a creature reach the state of enlightenment necessary to truly worship God.
         Very well.  Let him grant Adam a companion.  Ultimately, it would be his undoing.  For if men were free to choose God, they were free not to as well.  I glided down the astral pathways, back to Hell, and contemplated my next move.  This was a game we had played for eternity.  God and I have never been enemies- how could we?  We’re simply research partners.