Student Wins Hide and Seek Championship

Student Wins Local “Hide and Seek” Championship


Local college student, Mike McCafferty, took first place in the local “Hide and Seek Tournament”. The tournament is held every year on a half-mile strip of land centering around highway 85. “The speeding cars are there to add to the excitement” stated founder Angie Babcock. “There’s nothing like a kid bouncing off the hood of a vehicle…you just don’t know if they’ll get up or if it’s time to call an ambulance.”
Mike, being the only contestant in the nine-and-above age bracket was forced to compete with hundreds of five, six, seven, and eight year olds.
When asked about his strategy, a heaving Mike simply said, “I had this 7-foot pole with me. Whenever a kid came near me, I swung at their legs. They never touched me.”
Amid hundreds of teary-eyed, broken-hearted kids and thousands of angry parents screaming obscenities, Mike had this to say about his win, “I think I gave into the pressure put on me by society’s standard. I would have been perfectly happy sitting in my parents’ basement, smoking pot, playing One-Man Freeze Tag, and dying a virgin. But hey, crap happens and we can’t all live our dreams.”
Congratulations, Mike. We’re all very proud of you.