As The Sun Sets...

         I glared at the clock.  4 minutes.  Crap!  Sprinting up the stairs, I grabbed the edge of the door and slid into the bathroom.  I clicked on the lights and twisted off my mascara cap as quick as it would budge.  This took about 5 seconds in all. 
         3 minutes.  I yanked my shirt over my head and hastily pulled up my skirt.  I zipped up my finger and sucked on it as I dashed back down the stairs.
         2 minutes.  I could hear the clock ticking frantically as I ran about, searching for my shoes. 
         1 minute left.  I hopped up the stairs, pulling on my heels. 
         Twenty seconds.  I shoved earrings in and hoped they weren‘t twisted.  Ten seconds left.
         Knock!  I lied.  Knock!  He’s here.  As if I had been preparing for an hour, and was bored out of my mind of waiting for him; I sauntered back down the stairs. 
         I had been picturing this moment for the most of the past 3 days.  All I had to do was swing open the door, plant my hand on my hip and whisper “Hey Aaron,” in a sexy voice.  I turned the knob and slid open the door.  He was gorgeous: His platinum hair; his icy blue eyes.  My eyes were glued to him.  It was several seconds before I realized how stupid I must look.  Standing like a popsicle, leaning forward waiting for him to slip me off my feet.  “Aaron-”  Was all I managed to splutter.  There went the oh so perfect moment.
         “Hey Em,”  He said in the perfect sexy voice I’d imagined me using, flicking his smooth hair away from his eyes.  “Excited?”
         “Not at all,”  I replied playfully.  Aaron knew me all to well to not think I would take this lightly.
         You see, Aaron and I had been best friends since he moved in at the age of 6.  He was dream guy the second he first said “Hey Em“, and I doubted things could ever change.  He would never understand how he affected me.  Aaron was independent, no matter what people would call him.  It was almost as if he was already attached to someone.  He had never shown interest in any girl, but that didn’t change a thing.
         Many girls had fallen for Aaron.  Many being a lot more than you would expect in a small school like the one we attended.  The unique mixture of his features and random expressions made people instantly comfortable around him.  His bubbly cheeks were friendly and warm, and way too often he had a radiating smile that would light up the room.  He had a strict jaw line that made him look tough and cool, like guys in movies.  The ones that are only imagined, not one’s people could actually see on a daily basis.  His sleek hair was tangled about his head in such a perfect, sexy way.  There was no way anyone who met him could forget him. 
         Every Friday night since the beginning of high school, Aaron and I went out together so that we wouldn’t be the only 2 sitting at home on date night.  Today, I had been expecting some all night diner or random bowling alley.  Aaron, apparently, had different ideas.  He had called earlier and proposed we went out formally.  As we would both be off to college in a few weeks, he thought he needed to “express his real feelings”.  I didn’t exactly know what this meant, but it couldn’t be anything bad. 
         “After you,”  He announced sweetly, and placed his arm around my waist.  He sent shivers down my spine and I didn’t know how I actually made it to his car.  Opening the door, he shoved a book out of the passenger’s seat and it clunked onto the floor.  The crimson book looked like it was over a thousand years old.  The moth eaten covers were barely held together by the broken leather binding.  It was a thick book with many thin pages, like a bible.  I was almost sure it was hand-written.  Then again, who would’ve hand written a book for Aaron?  I climbed in and he shut the door behind me.  “We need to stop back at my house for a minute, okay?”  He said before I could question him about anything.  “I forgot something.”  His voice seemed to sparkle at these words and I couldn’t manage anything more than a nod. 
         I was always so comfortable around Aaron.  Why was I putty all of a sudden?  We drove for 5 minutes without speaking.  It wasn’t awkward, but I could tell that he was thinking hard. 
         “If you were running away, what would you leave in a good-bye note?”  I glanced up from he road to give Aaron a sarcastic look.
         “Hmmm,”  I replied in mock thought.  “You mean like, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t.  I love you!?”  Aaron glanced at me slightly annoyed.  It wasn’t the answer he was looking for.  What a stupid question, I thought, and looked back out the window.  Aaron didn’t move an inch.
         “Seriously,”  He stated, and so did every line on his face.  His icy blue iris’ gleamed bright from under his platinum blond hair.  His eyes were twisted in a captivating accusation as he sized me up.  I couldn’t look away.  “God, Em, do you ever stop joking?”
         “What?”  I questioned him, still a bit playful.  The smile that still curved one half of my lips fell as I saw the look on his face. 
         “Never you mind,”  He grumpily turned his head away and leaned on the window sill.  For a half second, I sat staring before realizing the conversation had ended.    I was about to voice my uncertainties when he sat up straight.
         He looked up, then back at his palms.  He examined them glossy-eyed.  Aaron didn’t usually have a huge imagination.  What is going on?  I thought helplessly.  He shivered reluctantly and his pupils dilated.  He instantly seemed more awake.
         He looked at me apprehensively and I did my best to look serious.  “Say…-say you were to go away.  You know, where you wouldn’t know anyone, and people-”  He paused, searching for a word. “…pressured you.  What would you do, to stay… you?”  He said it with an air of hypothetical fiction, waving his hand about nervously.  He only pulled it to his lap when he realized how reckless he looked.  My mind was overflowing with questions.
         “Aaron, what’s going on?  Can’t you just tell me?”  I squeaked; it almost sounded like an accusation.  He looked up.  His sparkling eyes met mine for a split second, and I almost melted into the car seat.  His forehead was furrowed into one strict line.  He was thinking hard.  “Aaron?”  I repeated.
         “No.  I’m sorry, Em.  I can’t,”  He said with less finality then I would’ve expected from him.  He seemed so vulnerable. 
         “You know I love you Em?”  He asked lightly.  I knew he meant as just friends, but he was deliberately changing the subject.
         “Of course.”  I smiled, but I could feel myself forcing it.  Why was he acting this way?  He gently picked up my hand, sending sparks all the way up my arms and into my bright cheeks.  He didn’t love me as more than a friend.  I knew that, as I always had.  And if he suddenly decided to try out a relationship now, it would be stupid anyway.  We had less than a week before we separated.  I hadn’t noticed he was looking at me.  Twirling my fingers in his palms, he began to speak again.  It was enchanting, and I couldn’t keep my rapt attention away from him.
         “Oh, Em.  Don’t be like that.  Please?”  He said automatically, as if he could read my exact thoughts.  I tried eagerly to compose myself, but I could feel my face burning more as I spoke.
         “Be like what?”  I mumbled defensively.  I turned away, highly embarrassed, and he sighed deeply.
         “Oh, Emilia.  What ever will I do with you?”  He grinned beautifully and I rested my head on the back of my hand.  “Don‘t hide that smile.”  He added, tilting my porcelain face up towards him with one soft stroke of his fingertip.  I felt my skin sparkle at his touch.  I couldn’t help but smile around him.  It was too natural.
         “Oh, Aaron.  What ever will I do with you?”  I imitated him. “You can’t even focus on one problem at a time.”  The words came out harsher then I expected them to.  He let go of me quickly and his face fell.  He obviously hoped that I had forgotten his restlessness and moved on.  I felt bad for reminding him.  He was just beginning to lighten up. He sighed and blinked up at me with glossy, somber eyes.
         “Em, you have to promise me that you can trust me.  I need to know you believe in me.”  This was not what I’d expected from Aaron.  He was always so silly and calm, while everyone else had panic attacks around him.  This was the first time I’d ever seen him in an odd shape, and I was worried.  It wasn’t anxiety either: He looked crazed.  He was trembling more violently by the second. 
         “Do you trust me?“  He repeated, more firmly.  He grabbed my arm roughly and turned me towards him.
         “Yes, yes,“  I answered quickly.  He sighed and turned away.  I was glad his violent impatience had ceased.  When I looked at him again, he seemed distant.  He was staring into the red horizon, his mouth had fallen open with his distraction, and his eyes were blank, in a much more difficult place then the one I was  in.  I silently pondered what he was keeping hidden, and more importantly, who was torturing him this way. 
         “Aar, who’s behind this?  I hate to see you all disheveled.”  As soon as I’d said this I realized it was true.  Aaron’s platinum hair was sticking up and frizzed and he had bags under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept for weeks.  I couldn’t stand it much longer. 
         “I thought we were supposed to be friends,”  I said bitterly as he remained silent.  “This isn’t fair.  You keeping things from me like-”
         “You think I want-”
         “God damn it Aaron.  Don‘t pretend like your not being distant.  I can see it your eyes.  This isn‘t right.  I don‘t like you when you‘re serious and vulnerable.  That‘s not you.”  I announced to him.  We were never people to hide things from each other.  He looked up at me with something like confusion in his wondrous eyes. 
         “You- you think you‘re the only one with problems?”  He whispered with venom pulsing through his voice. 
         “No.  But Aaron, come on!  Be happy!  You‘ll leave next week and everything will be new and-”
         “Ha!“  He laughed harshly.  “New?!  Nothing will change Emilia.  You think if you pretend like you don‘t have problems they‘re not there?  Guess what?!?  Your wrong!”  The child-like innocence he mocked me through  was downright terrifying  and I inched away from him. 
         “Aaron, what‘s going on?  I didn‘t do anything, did I?  I mean, you have everything!”
         “Your dad left and your sis’ is hurt.  Well boohoo to that, Em!”  My mouth dropped open.  How could he insult me with what he knew would hurt me most?  “You think you’re the only one who needs help with things?“  Muttering inaudibly, he cut me off.  “The problems.”  He whispered as if he had been waiting to scream this his whole life.  I held on to his every word, terrified.  “They don’t go away Emilia.”  He stared intently with fire burning in his eyes.  “Ever.”
         “How could you-  Don’t you-  My dad-”  I could feel anger and fear and agony bubbling in my stomach.  I felt sick as I screamed my heart out.  “You have nothing, nothing, to complain about.  Your family loves you and cares about what you do with your-”
         “Didn‘t you ever stop and think that maybe you‘re not the only idiot with no purpose but to hope everyday, that the next will turn out better?“  He  kicked the side of his car, then it jolted to a stop on the side of the road.
         “Aaron, who is doing this to you?!”  I yelped defensively.  Surely I had not brought this on.  “Please tell me.  You can‘t let someone control you like this.”  Quite suddenly his face was inches away from mine and he was glaring at me with such a burning intensity I recoiled.  He looked crazed.
         “Controlling me?!?”  He shouted back feverishly.  “Don’t you dare insult-”  His words drowned into furious obscure muttering.  He paused, to observe my reaction.  It seemed that the whole world had gone completely silent for one second of anticipation.  “The only one to ever control me was you.”  He spat. 
         “I never did anything to you!”  I retaliated quickly.  “Aaron, you’re being ridiculous!  Stop!”  I cried, weak under his ferocious gaze.
         “Remember your promise.”  He added, before stepping out of the door.  “Don’t bother returning the car,” He slammed the door shut and left without one blazing look behind him.  The second he was gone the car felt 10 degrees warmer, as if his emotions controlled the atmosphere.
         I sobbed to the empty car.  His scent mocked me as it lingered around my mascara lined face.  It must’ve been at least an hour before I laid down on my side and closed my eyes.  I dreamt of the hard glare that struck me as if he’d been waiting to scream at me his whole life.