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Rated: ASR · Essay · Relationship · #1373682
Second of Four Narrative Essays
My Intimacies
Because You Asked


Ordinarily I do not find this topic so openly discussed among people. Not because of any inhibitions but generally from early childhood teachings. These are the kind of teachings that are etched into our minds when we are very young and impressionable. Most young people are taught boundaries for topics that are appropriate in a discussion. The kind of topics that give us pause and make us resist and choose if we enter the discussion. With age these topics take on a curiosity and shape what we believe want know about them. As people truly mature intimacy reveals itself to us in many ways. The very basic human intimacies are the emotional and later the physical. People develop an understanding of these by their experiences with others.
As those understandings are presened to people sometimes a mistaken understanding will show in one form or another. Those understandings could be our own or those of our friends. It is a kind of expectation interlaced within our thoughts and what we understand. Those type of expectations are very volatile to a friendship. A lack of communication is most always the catalyst causing failure of our intimate moments in time with another. In some ways you could think of those experiences as exploring with others who are willing to share their sentiments. Looking at those close encounters in a personal attachment with people, intimacy has more to do with shared moments, than do our expectations. The closeness of conversation, sharing food or drink, or taking a stroll around the block are all those moments when people share intimate feelings or thoughts with one another. Without delving into an entirely different topic, those conversations are paramount for people communicating. Nothing can be left to chance. The cliché “putting all your cards on the table” is very apropos. Honesty must prevail with couples.
Considering the sexual interactions in an intimate way are purely physical. Their beginning, however, most always develop from intimate events or actions. The intimacy we share with our partner is a prelude to sharing physically with each another. At this point I will divulge and share my heatfelt feelings about intimacy, because you are asking.
These days no one I know thinks of intimacy as sharing a moment with someone. They think of it as having sex with someone. For me it is a moment when two people can expose their spiritual, emotional and phyical for on another. A time when people have shut out the world. They are each deeply in touch and cherishing the sensations overcoming their minds and body. All those moments are, for me, when I am intimate with someone being intimate with me. Moving those intimacies into the physical is a mutual event for people. It allows friends to truly expose their feelings in their own secret and private way. That is intimacy with for me with my partner. Mutual is a very key understanding. Those like interests and thinking should overwhelm people.
In the end intimacy is always with someone we like. It will be spiritual, emotional or physical. Obviously all of those feelings are present for most couples who like one another or are deeply in love. Intimacy truly prevails when people share those mutual interests that lead them into exposing their souls. Do not be fooled, sharing a cup of coffee can be as intimate as a hug. It is truly a state of mind you share with your partner. Our intimacy doles out a plethora of paradigms for everyone everyday in everyway.
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