Colors of my Mind

The burning colors that cut through the blackness of my normal mindset.
Undesired life forced upon my slowly shattering mind,
forever left broken on the ground to be trampled by people whom don't care.

Red, flowing whimsically by the darkness of my once bloodied thoughts,
this bloodied arm of mine so warm and lively,
pain the only thing that told me I was alive to feel my breaking heart
wishing for the dreams to come silently carry me away to the light.

Blue, emotions of calming waves that send me to places forgotten
sitting staring at the cynical drawings on the wall,
with cleansing tears dripping from my ever so tiring eyes
burning me as they caress my skin.

Pink, happiness that flowed throughout my veins,
memories of lighter times forgotten yet still painted on.
Never missed and claimed to be never experienced
forever remembering the demon I once was
wishing for the experiences once again... is that so bad?

White, thoughtless moments in my life,
there is nothing there to discuss
memories there forever will go untouched,
for those actions spoke louder than words
when words were just too hard to find.

Purple, brash harsh words that flew from my mouth once at this time
uncontrolled rampages plague my mind to this day
then cleansed in thought racing over in haste,
as if watching a hazy old T.V. set
till it just fades away silently dieing.

Yellow, times at which I did nothing but sit and cry,
wishing my life to end... even to the point of condeming myself.
Pointless days of my life flew by
for I already knew I would amount to nothing.
Just a body to take up space with nothing but pain and the wishes of grace.

Green, moments survived through the sheer luck of life,
unconsciously obtaining worthless objectives
with a racing mind unable to comprehend what I had done,
even as I watched the blood of a deserving patron of pain...
I saw it washing off my hands into the sewer below
I felt a sense of happiness unfound...almost unhuman.

Orange, the tangible times of thought and intellect
that came so easily, yet used so carelessly.
No obvious reason as to why there is any point to try
in a life you didn't want and truthfully never had.

Black, my harsh reality in which I am nothing,
just a lonesome boy who cries in the corner each night
wishing to be something special.
Yearning for a kindred spirit to hold him close
yet, just another to slit their wrist and watch the blood trickle out
falling.... mesmerized by the warm droplets of pain inflicted thoughts
I'm the worthless boy watching them all....the colors of my mind pass me by.