A Day in My Life

Before I became a parent,
I recall just what I said,
"My child will never act like that;
He'll be disciplined instead,"

Lo and behold when my own son
Was a tiny man of three,
On our road where all the neighbors
Were gathered around to see,

A visitor came to look at
A nearby house up for sale;
And here was when he said something
That made my skin turn quite pale.

The elderly man said nicely,
"How are you, young handsome man?"
And he waited for an answer
As he went to shake his hand.

But my child's response came clearly,
And still resonates today,
"Hey you snotty-nosed old man," was
The one thing he had to say.

That moment lasted forever;
I stood with my mouth agape;
What had happened to my dream child,
And my roll of grey duct tape?

Now my neighbor was a true friend
And stepped in to save my skin,
She said, "Child, where is your mother?
Have you wandered off again?"

I took the cue and said, "Yes, where
Is your lovely mom today;
And who on earth has taught you to
Speak to other folks that way?"

As my wise neighbor softly laughed,
I scooted my son away,
Went in the house and drew the blinds
To spend the rest of the day.

Now that was fifteen years ago,
And the memory won't dim;
But the best thing now is it's my
Turn to just embarrass him!

Let me state very clearly that I have never used duct tape on my children, though it has been suggested to me many times.