Intro to Johnnie Unknown

JohnnieUnknown
5.9.08


I never open up to anyone, so this is very hard for me. I've reached a point where I just don't care anymore. I'm tired, pissed, and just about out of control. I can't keep it bottled in anymore! I feel like I have no purpose. The only thing that motivates me now is kicking some ass!

Maybe I need to bring you up to speed. I'm an 18 year old guy almost out of high school and getting ready for college. I haven't had any real friends lately. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wasn't always a loner like this. Once there was a time where I had my whole life ahead of me. That's right, I had FRIENDS! Well, at least until my family decided to move to Florida about 5 years ago. I had it all. I meant something back home. I was needed, I was loved, I was wanted. I was never really a very aggressive person at all. Of course I had my bad days, but now I'm here. Things are different. I'm different. I'm not who I was. I don't do the same things. I don't think the same way. I am a different person.

I guess you might be wondering why I am so negative about everything, right? Well, it really started when my family forced me to move here to this small town. This was a place where everyone knew who they were, who their friends were, and wouldn't let anything change that. I pretty much ended up spending all my time by myself because no one here wanted anyone to mess up their perfect little lives.

Long story short, I'm here now. I'm about to graduate high school and get away from it all and start over. The only thing is, I am not the same person that I used to be, like I said before. No, these bastards ruined me and I'm going to make it right again. No one's going to stop me. I'm mad as hell and I'm about to unleash hell!

I know, I should focus on college and what's ahead and just forget about all this high school drama. The thing is, you see, when you spend so much time alone, you start to think... when you start to think, you start to create your own reality, and when you create your own reality, you have a hard time sorting out fantasy from what's real. Sometimes I think about doing more than just hurting those that hurt me. I mean, I want them dead. DAMMIT I WANT THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS TO BURN!

I know this isn't right. I don't mean to be like this. I never wanted this. I mean, this is actually kind of scary, you know? Who knows what I'll end up doing? Nonetheless, I have a lot of things to sort out.

I'm just so glad it's Friday. At least I can get away from the hell I live in and try to find something to take me away.

Well anyway, thanks for listening to me vent. There's a lot more where that comes from. Leave me some comments if you want.

JohnnieUnknown




*** Johnnie Unknown is a fictional character and so are the actions described in this journal.

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