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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1430079-The-True-Effects-of-Booze
Rated: 13+ · Other · Comedy · #1430079
A funny story about how alcohol can really impair judgement.
         The True Effects of Booze

         "Hey Fred!  Where's your sister tonight?"  The hobo-like, balding man at the end of the pub yells.
         "Just drink your beer Ron."  Fred replies from the opposite corner of the solid oak bar.
Just as he finishes his reply, a tall, brunette in a bright red dress and glistening pink lipstick, saunters into room.  Everyone takes a second look at the creature in red, but Ron cannot stop his staring.
The burly, tattooed bartender leans in towards Fred and whispers,
         "Do you think he will be tricked again?"
         "Why not.  He's been fooled four times already."  Fred chuckles.

         The dolled up, dress flaunter walks up to Ron, who is looking pretty relaxed, slumped into his chair behind his table full of empty bottles.  The vixen walks up behind him and whispers something into his ear.  Ron's head quickly raises up and eyes widen.  He turns to look at this ear whisperer towering over him and nods in approval.  They walk towards the door, passing Fred and the bartender.
         "Look whud I'm goin' home wit, suckas!"  Ron boasts to Fred, who just smiles kindly.
         "Five times!  Gotta love alcohol?"  Ron's new friends giggles.
         "Just make sure you get him home safe when you're finished, Jeff."
         

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