Thats the Girl: Chapter One

“Ugh, another one,” I said under my breath, waiting  for the administrator to come in and introduce me to the new family. It was always fun to see how scared they were. Like I’m so breakable they cant look at me.
I could hear the jealous girls in the distance talking.
         “Who would adopt her?”
         “Yea, they’re just going to send her back anyway.”
         “Some people are just attracted to a hopeless cause.”
         I blocked them out, mostly because they were right. I was pretty hopeless, and I was sick of people trying to reach out.
         “Margot, come here. There is someone you need to meet.” There was a tone in the administrator’s voice that wasn’t familiar to me. I followed him out of the room with curiosity in my footsteps.

I grew up in a house where a functional relationship between parents was something in fairy tales. My mother had always had a boyfriend in some context. Well, that’s what she called them anyway. Darcy was only eye candy to them. No one knew her like I did. No one wanted to.
         I knew that I had a father somewhere, but I never really wanted to meet him. He was the only man my mom had ever been married to. It was a quick wedding in Vegas. One that never should have happened, my mom always told me. But they did stay married for seven years.  They were separated  before she finally divorced him.
         “Those were the longest seven years of my life. Some of them were the best, some were the worst,” she told me once.
         Each of her “relationships” usually went the same way. He would come in. They would drink a little, then head to the bedroom when they thought I was asleep. This fling would last about three weeks, and then he would go back to his pretty little wife and kids. I had to watch my mother eat a tub of chocolate icing and drink a whole bottle of wine. Next morning I flush the toilet and get her into bed. She would need her strength for surviving the hangover later.
         I was nine when I found her. She was laying on the floor not breathing. It was too late for me to save her, but I called the police anyway.
         I had a several foster homes after that, but I never stayed long. I could hardly even acknowledge my new family’s existence. Instead I sat there and sulked in self pity. I finally got to the point where I could go unnoticed when couples would walk in, looking for the perfect child to save from being an orphan. And if anyone did happen to look in my direction I tried to look away quickly as if I had better things to do than live with them.
         Until the day Sarah came along.          
         “Margot, this is going to be quite a shock, so brace yourself.” When the administrator saw my blank, uncaring expression he went on. “You have told me before that you do in fact know you have a father. What I don’t think you know is that you also have a sister.”
         I open my mouth in awe and my face twisted.
         A sister? He has to be crazy! I don’t have a sister. Mom would have told me! How could she even know I was here? How did she know?
         I wanted to choke him when I saw a stupid satisfied expression on his face.
         “Anyway, she wants to meet you. Just talk to her, Margot. She seemed really excited about finding you.” The administrator’s voice was pleading me to talk to her. Of course I wanted to, but I had a hard time believing it was true.
         “Fine,” I said through my teeth.
         We walked down the hall into the usual interview room. When I looked through the mirror window what I saw was a small woman; she looked young and beautiful. Her eyes seemed fearless, staring at the wall in thought. I decided not to make her wait anymore.
         The administrator walked in before me. I slowly made my way in as he held the door for me. I couldn’t meet her eyes, though I felt hers on me the whole time.
         “Margot, this is Sarah Greene. Mrs. Greene, Margot.” When no one said anything he added, “Well, I guess I’ll leave you two alone.”
         I just stood there staring at the floor for what seemed like forever.
         “Come. Sit down,” Sarah said with a sweet voice. It seemed familiar to me somehow. “I know how strange this must be for you. Its weird for me, too. I heard there are a few things that you don’t know. Things that were never told to you.”
         I wanted to know so bad what she was talking about. My mouth was watering for it, but I couldn’t get it open to say anything. Luckily, she went on anyway.
         “We do have the same father. Malcolm Conroy. After Darcy left he was a mess, but he held on for me. I always felt like there was something he wasn’t telling me -he was a very bad liar, and he knew it. Dad
died two years ago in the hospital. He had a deadly form of cancer in his brain. The day he died he told me about you. I had never known. My mother had run out on us and she took my only sister. Darcy hadn’t had you yet. I was devastated and mad. I walked out of that hospital room fuming. I didn’t know that would be the last day I would see my dad,” her voice was now far away. Her mind in a sad memory as her eyes drifted along the ceiling. I looked at her face for a moment until she caught me, but she held my gaze longer than what felt comfortable.
         My eyes pulled away from hers and dropped to the floor again. I didn’t know what to think of this.
         “Anyway, I looked for Darcy everywhere. Actually I looked for you. I never had the intention of hunting down my long lost mother, but there was a sister I had never known out there. I finally gave up, but there was still one thing I had never thought of: the obituaries.” I winced slightly at the word, but she didn’t notice.          “There she was. Darcy Marie Preston died at age 34, so I went to the court house to find out what happened to you after she died. That’s what led me here.” I could hear the love in her voice, though she barely knew who I was. “Please say something, Margot,” she whispered.
         I just closed my eyes and smiled. I didn’t really know what to say. I felt like the world was taken off my shoulders, which was a very strange feeling for me, but how exactly am I supposed to react in this situation?
         “Thank you,” I finally said, my eyes still closed.
         She sighed. “There is one other thing, Margot.” I could hear the edgy relief in her voice. “I want you to come live with me.”
         My eyes shot open. They found their place in hers. It felt strange that they should have a place, but right. Isn’t this what you want? A family? Someone to love you?
         “Please?” her voice got smaller, more vulnerable.

We had stayed in a few hotels on the way to Houston. It was a very long drive from Pennsylvania. I found It was easy to talk to Sarah, but for a long time I sat there and studied her face. We both had Darcy’s rosy,  full lips. We both also have her very big light blue eyes with long dark lashes. Her hair, though, was jet black like mom’s, and cut so that it reached just past the top of her ear; she kind of looked like a pixie with her small body. My hair, on the other hand,  was long, brown and boring. The only life it had still in it was my crazy waves. Sometimes they were really curly, sometimes almost straight. I hadn’t cut it since I moved in to the girls home. I hated it very much, but I never felt the need to cut it.
         “It wont be bad. I promise,” Sarah told me with a meaningful and determined look in her eyes. I turned to her. I felt like comforting her.
         “I know,” I said, weaker than I wanted to. She looked right into my eyes, smiled, and looked away, a satisfied expression plain to see.
         I wish I could be that certain that it will be okay. For a long moment, I felt the strangest sensation of comfort and fear mixed together in a way that made me glad to be here. Just then we pulled up to a sign that said “Blue Park Terrace.” Sarah kept driving until we came to the third long row of houses.  At first I thought all of them looked the same, but Sarah’s was different. Even in the dark I could see the red walls of her house jumping out at me. As I walked to her front door I smelled the sweet aroma of flowers. I looked to my sides and saw the tulips growing in front of the porch.
         “There’s more inside,” She said with a grin. I pulled my self away from the garden and went inside.
         If I thought the outside was cool, then the inside was even better, but I didn’t get a long time to look at it because Sarah was already taking my stuff to a room.
         “Here we go.” She put my bags down. “This will be your room. You can do whatever you want with it. Tomorrow we can go look around the city. I also want to show you where you will go to school-” she saw the overwhelmed expression on my face and added “We can go shopping, too. There’s a fabulous mall right around the corner,” she smiled. I  smiled, too. “Get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” With that Sarah closed the door and left me alone to unpack my things. Then the week’s pushed back emotions came rushing out of my eyes. I couldn’t even get a whole breath out before the silent tears came running down my face. When my eyes finally dried out I fell asleep.

I could still hear my name ringing in my ears when  I woke up.
         “Creepy,” I whispered.
         I walked groggily into the kitchen where Sarah was at the table trying to fix what looked like an alarm clock. She looked up when she heard my clumsy footsteps coming into the room. She smiled, “Good morning! I was just about to see if you were awake yet.” She looked at the clock again, and then turned to me. “You want to go out for breakfast?” She had a hopeful expression on her face.
         “Yea, sure,” I said. “I need a shower first though.”
         “Oh, no problem. Just follow me.” We walked down the hall as if heading back towards my room.          “Its kind of backwards in this bathroom. You see, the cold is hot and the hot is actually cold, so be careful,” she said as she headed out the door. “I’ll lay some clothes out for you.”
         The hot water from the shower felt good on my back, like it washed all the worry off. I picked up the shampoo. It smelled like strawberries. I lathered it in my hair until my fingers hurt, then I just stood under the water for what seemed like forever. Finally, I made my eyes open and turned it all off. I wrapped myself in a yellow towel and stepped out of the bathtub. I felt weightless for some reason as my feet carried me down the hall.
         I hadn’t noticed before, but Sarah and I were about the same size. Obviously she noticed, though. Laid out on my mattress was a pair of her jeans, a t-shirt, and some flip-flops. I guess she also noticed how lightly I packed. I got dressed and headed out to the living room where Sarah was waiting for me with relief in her eyes.
         “I hoped you wouldn’t mind my clothes for today. I figured you would want something a little more comfortable to wear.” She glanced to the door. “You ready?” I followed her to the door.
         We stopped at a little coffee shop on the corner two blocks away from the mall. It was part of a building with other little stores in it. The smell of coffee almost knocked me down as I opened the door. I stepped inside and I could hear someone in the distance say “Welcome to light bulb!” Instead of tables and chairs there were cushions everywhere and low wood coffee tables. There were a couches here and there. Everything seemed to fit in with each other. It was like a place where college students go to hang out or study. I loved it.
         “Wow, this place is… awesome,” I said hoping to go sit down.
         “I know. Its been here forever. The high school and college kids come here all the time. I first started coming here when I was a senior in high school with my boyfriend at the time. Ever since then I’ve been a regular,” Sarah said as we headed to one of the burgundy couches.
         “Don’t we have to order?” I asked.
         “I want you to meet someone first.” Just then, a lanky  man with rugged facial hair and smiling eyes walked our way. Sarah got up to hugged him and they talked I with low voices for a moment. She turned around still holding his hand, a beautiful smile on her face.
         “Margot, this is my fiancé, Daniel. He is the one I was telling you who brought me here in high school.”
         “It’s great to meet you, Margot.” One of his large hands shot out for me to shake, the other  holding Sarah’s waist.
         I just sat there like a dummy for a long second, then I finally got a hold of myself. “It’s nice to meet you, too,” I said quietly as I shook his hand.
         “You have such an unusually old-fashioned name. Very pretty.” He smiled as he loosened his grasp on my hand and took it away.
         Thank you was all I could manage to say.

“He seems very nice,” I said to Sarah as soon as we were safe in the car. He was very interesting, too. It seemed like he new every thing there was to know about coffee.
         “Yea, he’s great. Sometimes I think he’s way too good for me.” I could tell there was more to that. It was in her voice.
         “Alright, you and I have a meeting with the principle of Sumpter High School. He sounded very nice over the phone. He said we need to get your schedule done as soon as possible.”
         The school I went to at the girls home was a year ahead of all the schools in Phoenix, so I could wait till next semester  to start school, but I was in desperate need of  a social life. Even if it would be brief and fake.
         “Is this where you went to school?”
         She smiled. “Yea, that seems like a whole different world. One that I never wanted to visit again, but I’ve heard the new principle is great,” she said laughing.
         I couldn’t help but smile. We pulled the small car into the school’s parking lot. It was a pretty nice school. There were a lot of trees around the building. I could see it was an older structure, too. It looked like a place that I might like. Somewhere I might fit in.
         As I walked slowly down the hall, I remembered my first day of third grade. Mom was worried I wouldn’t make friends in our new town. She didn’t want me to be stressed, so she made me pancakes for breakfast because she knew those were my favorites. They had blueberry faces in them. She had laid out my clothes and wrote my name on all of my stuff. It seems like a whole other world now. The memory was somehow comforting to me then as I ran my fingers along the many lockers.
         A very pregnant woman opened the office door before I had the chance to knock.
         “Hello,” she asked in a small voice but with a expecting look on her face.
         “Hi, we are here to see Mr. Lowing,” Sarah replied with authority in her voice.
         “He’s out right now, can I help you?” She motioned us to follow her.
         “We had a meeting with him today. I’m enrolling my sister here, and he was going to give us the paperwork and such to get her here.”
         “Oh, yes. Mr. Lowing did mention you would be here. I’m terribly sorry. He had some family occasion to attend to, but I have the enrollment form and the class choice sheet right here.” She began to take out a folder and check the contents. “Yep, its all there. I’m Mrs. Tracy, by the way” She flashed a glowing smile.
         “I’m Sarah Greene and this is Margot. Would it be a problem if we take a look around?”  Sarah stood up.
         “No problem at all. Here’s a map of the school.” She handed us a bright green paper with the first and second floors on the front and the third on the back. “It was very nice to meet you both. Hope to see you soon, Margot.”
         I smiled. “You too, Mrs. Tracy. Bye.” I walked out of the office behind Sarah.
         “Let me see that map for a second.” I handed her the paper. She looked at it carefully for a moment then she said, “I want to show you the photography room. Its in the same place as when I was in high school”          
         We walked around a couple of corners and up two flights of stairs to the third floor. In the very corner of the hallway was a narrow door with a small window in it.
         “There it is. That’s the place that started my career.” She looked at me. “Believe it or not, but I had some really good times in that room.” Sarah had told me that she was a photographer. She did things like weddings and other special occasions, but she was trying to save up enough for her own studio to do portraits, too.
         Sarah went down the hall to look at other classrooms, so I went up to look in the window, but just as I was about to take another step the door opened in my face and hit me in the nose.
         “Ouch,” I said loudly.
         Before me stood a tall girl with a bewildered look on her face. She looked like she was about to cry. “Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. Let me help you up.” She grabbed my arm and helped me pull myself up.
         “I’m fine really. I was just looking around at the class rooms and-” I was cut off by a man’s voice.
         “What’s happening out here?” In the doorway was a man that looked like he was freshly out of college with spiky hair all gelled up.
         “I knocked her down when I opened the door, Mr. V. I didn’t see her,” the girl said. “I think she’s going to be going to school here soon.” They both looked at me with questions popping up on their faces.
         “Well, yea. I just moved here, and I was just checking out the school. I’m sorry to interrupt your class its just my sister-” I was cut off again, this time by Sarah.
         “Margot? Are you okay?” I heard her say as she same around the corner, and then she saw the two people standing in front of me. “You tried to look in the window didn’t you?” She had a disapproving expression on her face while trying to hide her smile.
         “I kinda ran her over with door,” the tall girl said to the floor. Then she turned to me again. “I am so, so sorry. Really, I am.”
         “I believe you,” I said as I offered my hand to her. “I’m Margot.”
         She took my hand, but seemed very careful about it. “I’m Shelley, and this is Mr. Varner. We all call him Mr. V, though.”
         I turned to the man again. “Sorry again for interrupting.” I gave an apologetic smile under my hand.
         “Are you kidding? This is the most exciting thing that’s happened all day, considering this is my only class. Margot, is it? I am the great Mr. V.” He shook my hand firmly with a pleasant smile then turned to Sarah. “And this must be the sister.”
         “Yes, I’m Sarah Greene,” she said. “I took photography here and I wanted to show Margot where the room was.”
         “Well then, I suppose I should let you get on to the other less exciting classrooms, unless you would like to take a look inside?”
         I looked at Sarah. She shrugged. “Okay,” I said, and we walked in the room.
         Shelley had gone off down the hall before we came in, so all could see when I entered was six pairs of eyes staring at me. I quickly looked away, trying unsuccessfully not to be a distraction.
         “Class, this is Margot.” Mr. V looked at me briefly. “She will be going to school here soon. Here is our chance to play it up a bit, so look professional.” I heard a few giggles as a couple of backs straightened up. He turned to me again. “this class is only made up of seven people,  and we could definitely use another student. My humility is on the line, so please don’t make me grovel.”
         “Make him grovel,” a boy from the back of the room shouted and laughs escaped the mouths escaped of the students.
         “I’ll make you grovel, J-” I interrupted him before anyone really did grovel.
         “There’s really no need. I want to do photography.” I caught Sarah’s surprised look out of the corner of my eye. “It sounds interesting, and this class seems like it’s a lot of fun.” I smiled as I eyed the room.
         “Well, that was a lot easier than I’d anticipated. We didn’t even get to the show-off part,” Mr. V said teasingly.
         Sarah looked at her watch. “I’m sorry, but we’d better head out of here. Thank you for letting us come into your classroom.” She was being polite, but I could see that she really wanted to leave. 
         “It was no problem at all, ladies. I’ll see you soon then, Margot,” Mr. V said with a warm smile.
         “Definitely. Cant wait. Bye, ” I said, walking out the door.
          When we were a long way down the hall Sarah looked behind her as if to make sure no one followed us.
         “Well. That was an experience to remember,” she said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
         “I kind of enjoyed myself. I’m sure I wont be  bored in his class.” I laughed a little.
         “I didn’t think you were that kind of girl. You didn’t just decide to take photography because of that boy did you?” I could hear the question in her voice, but I had no idea where it came from.
         “Boy? What are you talking about?” I was utterly confused.
         She looked at me incredulously. “You didn’t see him? He was staring  at you from the moment you walked in the door.” 
         “Creepy. Yet I’m still flattered,” I said in thought.
         “He was pretty cute, too, but his hair was way too long for my taste. You should have seen that boy’s face. I could tell he was a trouble maker, though.”
         “That’s definitely my type,” I laughed.
         In reality, I never had much to do with boys. I stayed away from them, actually. Then after I moved into the girls home I lost all connection with any boys since there were none around, so I really didn’t have a whole lot of experience. All I ever knew was that I didn’t want to end up like my mom, juggling several men at one time.

Once we were back in the car I began to play with my split ends, as I did a lot when I was bored. When I noticed we weren’t driving I turned to see what Sarah was doing. She was looking at my hair as if she was deciding something.
         “You need a haircut” she said finally.
         I looked at my hair again. “Um, okay.” I looked at her. “What do you have in mind, exactly?”
         “Well, I have a friend that lives a couple of doors down who has a salon downtown. I could ask her if she could squeeze you in by Monday.” She was off in thought now, still staring at my hair.
         “I haven’t cut my hair in almost two years . This is going to be very weird. I may lose my balance,” I joked.
         “Don’t worry. She is a great hairstylist, and I think it could do wonders for your complexion,” she said as she was combing her fingers through my hair.

On the way back to Sarah’s house,  we stopped at the music store to get a gift for one of her friends. In the doorway of the small building I saw a HELP WANTED sign.
         “Hey, Sarah. What is the legal working age here?” I asked.
         “Fifteen, I think. Why?” I pointed at the sign in the window.
         “I’m fifteen. I could apply  for a job here. Please?” I gave her a pleading look.
         “I don’t know, Margot. I really don’t want you to be overwhelmed,” Sarah said in a concerned voice.
         “If I get overwhelmed then I’ll quit, I promise. Can I get a application?” I stared at her with determination in my eyes.
         She looked back at me for a moment. I knew I was going to win this one. “Oh, fine. You can apply, but only if you keep your word.”
         “I will. Besides, who says I’ll get the job, anyway?” I shrugged my shoulders and we went inside
         We shopped around for a while, looking at all the different CD’s and even some vinyl records. When we finally finished I walked up to the counter where a short, stubby man stood and asked for an application.
         “Oh, yes. Of course. You’re the first one in months to want one,” the man laughed.
         “Yea, I just moved here and I figured it would be good to get a job, you know. Get to know the people I live around,” I said as I was walking out the door. “Thank you,  and I’ll be back soon!”
         Sarah and I got in the car and drove a couple of blocks to get to her house.
         “I just noticed how convenient it is living in this area. Everything is so close to each other,” I said in wonder.
“That’s the whole reason I moved to Blue Park. I could be close to my job and other places I need to be.”
         When we got home it was already dusk. I went to my room and sat down on the bed. I was already in a memory.
         “That’s my girl! Come here, darling. Come to momma!” It was a home video Mom had made when I was two. She always told me how long it took for me to learn how to walk. Sometimes, when she had no dates or someone at our house we would watch our videos from the old days. The days when not so much was confusing.
         I giggled as I walked step-by-step to get to her. She held her arms out to me like she always used to. She caught me when I fell over my dress, or she would tickle me when I got in her lap. Then she just stopped paying attention to me. All I ever got were blank stares awkward silences.
         You left me alone long before you died, Mom…
         All of the sudden I felt the tears run over my eyes. The coolness felt like it burned my skin. I heard sobs coming from all around me, and then I realized they were my own. I kept sobbing, trying to stay as quiet as possible.
         I felt someone wrap their arms around me. I knew who’s they were, but for a moment I just wanted to pretend they were someone else’s. the warmness in them I had been missing for so long was there in Sarah’s arms. She held me for what seemed like eternity till I stopped crying.
         I sighed shakily. “I’m sorry. Its just hard, sometimes.” I could only manage to whisper.
         “Do you want to talk about it?” Her voice was soft as it spoke to me.
         I wiped my eyes and looked at her. I saw she had been crying, too. “Sometime, I will, but not right now.” I tried to give a smile, but it came out like a flat line.
         “You know I’m always here, Margot. I will listen to you anytime you want.” She patted my hand and walked out my door.
         I stared out the window, and I saw a big orangeish circle in the sky. The wise moon was staring back to me, it seemed.
         I yawned as I put on my pajamas and crawled under the warm covers. Before I knew it I deep in a  dreamless sleep.