The Fam'ly Man

The Fam'ly Man

Six months have gone by since you had your laugh
The crabs have come and gone, but I’m still sore
There aren’t too may scabbies on my shaft
But syphilis’ more painful than before.

The only thing which makes my pain grow less
Is knowing that you share my aches with me
Your father always argued with distress
That I should share your burdens, don’t you see?

He never thought that I’d amount to much
He didn’t think a “fam’ly man” I’d make
So as my fam’ly jewels in pain I clutch,
I’m glad to know his guess was a mistake.

I’m sure you think I’ve earned my sorry fate,
But tell that to your pretty sister, Kate.



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