HMO Blues

Woke up late on a cloud-covered morning
Cancer-free; happy you ain’t dying

But before you’ve had time to heal
Another dern' spoke throw in your wheel

In your mailbox arrives the HMO’s key to profits
Your personalized Non-“Explanation Of Benefits”

Lord, the dreaded EOB
Reminds how unfair life can be

Yeh with it’s low-down coverage payment
Taking food off the table ‘n part of the rent

Paying only the deductible of the allowable
the despicable of the incomprehensible

Now the thrill is gone - after years of escrews
that flea-bag HMO delivers the meanest news

It’s like asking for water and your baby gives you gasoline
So you can re-file the paperwork or toss it in the latrine
Either way ya’ gonna lose
Cause that’s called the HMO blues

So git your huskiest voice like yer fixin’ to die
and give that customer service line a try

You can't be satisfied - harmonica a’wailing
but as luck has it - ain’t nobody a’answering

Next day find that yellow-bellied service rep
mumbling ‘not pre-authorized’ from their lep

Ask now for the person in cherge
keep on moanin’ like a funeral dirge

Tell the toothless serpentine of a supervisor
asking for a prognosis code of a cancer survivor

That it just ain’t, ain’t nobodies business
don’t they know you’re trying to convalesce?

It’s like asking for water and your baby gives you gasoline
Now you can re-file the paperwork or toss it in the latrine
Cause either way ya’ gonna lose
That’s the way it is with the HMO blues

It’s all a gamble 'coz when you roll the insurance dice
rarely git what you need or the same answer twice

Ya know who’s responsible for the bill
as the HMO plays ‘catch me if you will’

Leaving you behind like a southbound train
they always find a reason not to pay again

Reminds me of a good friend of mine
his HMO phoned him - just being kin’e

Telling him he’s now part of the uninsured
oh yeh, and he was in the cardiac ward

It’s like asking for water and your baby gives you gasoline
So you can re-file the paperwork or toss it in the latrine
Doesn’t matter which way you choose
Cause you got a real bad case of the HMO blues






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Note:  this poem is part of a collection, to read more please see:

"the C-word"  13+: emotional, poignant, funny poems written about my experiences having cancer