Christmas Shopping with a Hangover

Christmas Shopping with a Hangover

Too much to drink 
Has left me real sick
Now I must play
Like jolly Saint Nick

The Mall is sure packed
And the lines are so long
My wife keeps asking
"Honey, what's wrong?"

I feel just as green
As one can be
But I must get presents
For under the tree

Rum and Gin
And Vodka too
Now I have a case
Of the Holiday Flu

My eyes are red
And my stomach a mess
"Would Uncle Charlie like this?"
Oh Yes Dear, Yes!

Forgive me Santa
You jolly old soul
But I feel like death
In a cold wooden Bowl

There are noises in here
Like I have never heard
My brain seems to shatter
On each spoken word

Christmas comes thankfully
But just once a year
And I'd give all my presents
For some aspirin and beer

Each time I think
Of last night’s folly
I just feel stupid
And not so Damn Jolly

I'm about to give in
And call it the day
Then I think to myself
What would Santa say?

So I pull it together
For one more round
When my ears do here
The strangest of sound

It's my Wife complaining
That she is so tired!
And the Coupons she has
Have already expired

"It's time to go she says!"
As she heads for the door
And my heart flutters lively
Because she's shopping us poor

I know this season
Is for giving and thanks
But my Wife seems to think
That I own three banks

Next year will be different
I think to myself
I'll not have a drink
Or I'll hire an Elf


Merry Christmas!