Longing : Macabre Love

It's become cold outside, bitter pain on my skin
I long for the warmth of her touch driving deep within
There has become a void that needs to be filled
before my inner spirit and life begin to wilt
She kept me safe, warm, and intensly aware
of minute details, such as the scent of her hair
Such power I felt within her, stirring long after
her body grew tense, and her final breath left her
A body so beautiful not a soul could look past
Succumbed to decay, her youth could not last
I watched death, in it's slow approach claim
this latest woman who could ease my pain
and now I sit with her, not yet ready to stir
not ready to move on, an immobilized cur
Another remote walk alone comes tomorrow,
another mound in the dirt, filled with all my sorrow
Soon I must leave and start my search for a new bride
Somewhat suggestible, with a strong desire to stay alive
Most likely a month, maybe two, is all that she'll last
under the burden of my love, death sure comes fast
How long can I delay, 'fore I need to search again
How long to hide an urge that stands as terrors kin
Knowing what I need, and keeping myself from it
Is sure to cause me pain 'til my heart is again lit
Next time will be different, this I keep hoping
Next time death will sit by, idly watching
While I do
what I must
to fend off
my
longing

What am I doing here
I know I can't fight it
akin to survivalism is
my urge, my longing
the harder I fight this
the farther I fall away
I can't deny anymore
my urge, my longing