Living With the Pain

I once was daddy’s little girl
I once stood hand in hand
With my sweet dad and mom
In life’s long trodden path

But something dreadful happened
A darkness thundered in
My life was thoroughly shattered
And now I’m free at last

Free from the love I once knew
Free from the joy of family too
Free from life’s sweet filled fun
Free from all my loved ones, gone.

There is no tie, enduring bond
Between a father and little one
He grew rough and very angry
I grew sad and lost
He grew dark and lost in depths
I was now at a loss


Then I fought many bloody battles
I fought him time and time again
I fought his touch, His look, His presence
I reveled greatly in his long enduring absence

My life was shattered, my heart was free
But I was bound by anger, not revelry
And now I’m alone, without a soul
And I’m afraid my life cannot play another role

See the tears, like rain sliding on glass
Hear the shouts, like the clash of lightening
Go on with life, like the clearing of a bombed out mess
Free, yes, but bound indeed, how frightening

I’d rather be trapped in blissful love
Than lost in the depth of despair
Held in arms that never gripped a sword
Kissed by one whose tongue never warred



Surrounded by ones whose past was clear of baggage
And who wished for only the best, not savage
I wish for no unconquerable depression
I wish for the wreckage it leaves behind to be abandoned

But now the only reality is pain
The only love is broken, only I remain
The only family I had is shattered
With the only dreams now few and scattered

My dreams are of now my of own making,
with no-one else involved
My life is built on the minute pieces
I was able to hold
But my love shall lay dormant, healing,
Until the time when trust can be given, revealing
Someone trusted to not betray and strangle,
Someone trusted to not skewer and mangle

But these are only dreams
These will not come true
At least, that’s what my mind tells me now
We’ll see what the truth shall be…soon…