Caligos Thoughts

“Now come let us feast. It is your eighteenth birthday after all. Today shouldn’t be only work.”

         As we sat to feast, I thought back to her. She was so beautiful, and fierce. Litui is also beautiful, but she was raised to be loyal to me, to love me. She was taught to be obedient and love all that I did. There was no mystery with her. Annika was full of mystery, she was perfect. She wouldn’t be afraid to speak her mind around me. She fascinated me and drew mind away from everything it should be focused on.

         “Why so quiet my Prince?” Litui asked me softly.

I looked to her and said sharply, “Nothing that concerns you.”

         “Yes, my Prince. I apologize.”

         She, Annika, wouldn’t have apologized. She probably would have yelled loudly at me. Loud enough for the whole the court to hear. She also wouldn’t have used my formal title she would have called me Caligo. She would have done such as I would wish a companion to do. She was beautiful.

         “My son, eat! This is your celebration. Your mission went well and soon you will be king!”

         “Yes, father. I am running through the mission again so that I might be able to kill the girl and stroll in the courts again.”

         “Always planning and thinking ahead. My son is a brilliant man and a great assassin. He will do well as king. Though not as well as me!”

         My father chuckled and all assembled proclaimed their agreement. The royal court, all people born of good families, hired to agree with everything my father says. To laugh as all his jokes and support all his orders. Soon they would do the same for me. The same insults would be whispered when I wasn’t listening, the same gossip. All of them had hoped that my mother wouldn’t have a son. Then they hoped that I would die during my sickly youth. Now they hope that I will fail in my mission, be caught and killed. In front of my father each tries his best to show his intelligence and loyalty, while hiding his greed. All hope to take my place, to be the most powerful man in the keep. They think that it is all about glory and wealth. We know better, my father and I. He is a great king. He is kind and thinks of the people before his purse. He has raised me to be the same. Still within the castle walls greed and lust for power have taken control. The common people of this keep love my father. I have taken nightly strolls with my father to understand the common people. I have listened to the story teller weave his web and I have told tales of my own. I have sat in my fathers study and watched him work. My father taught me that the people of our keep are angels and that demons reside in Arcturus. I know this to be false now, demons and angels reside everywhere. I believe my father knows this as well but has tricked himself into believing the men he kills are evil. That the men who have died by his hands don’t have families to return to. He knows the ways of the assassin and has learned well to hide the truth. I know he carries the burden of killing Certo of Arcturus. I know that every time he sees the scar running along his chest that he remembers the crying child and the weeping widow. I wish that all of this could be stopped, that I didn’t have to kill the beautiful princess. It is what I must do. I will kill Annika, marry Litui, and become the best ruler I can. I must train myself to kill her and bury the feeling of love. I turned my attentions to the table and joined the conversations of the demons.