A Lost Love For Gina

Gina pulled into the driveway and pressed the garage door opener.  Slowly, but surely, the door to the white, two-story brick house raised.  She drove into the garage and stepped out of the car, taking care not to hit her husband’s classic roadster.  She moved past the recycle bins and opened the door into the house.  “I’m home!  Come help with the groceries.”

Within moments, Gina’s three sons and her husband appeared.  They promptly transferred the grocery sacks from her car to the kitchen island in front of the refrigerator.  “Did you get my hair gel and my mouthwash?” her husband asked.

“Yes.”

“Hey, Mom, did you get more batteries?  My mp3 player is almost dead,” said her eldest, a blonde-haired, 12-year-old.

“Mine, too,” said her youngest.  He was redheaded, seven years old, and a carbon copy of her husband.  The middle boy, who was ten, had returned to the book he was reading.

“Yes, I got everything on the list.  Now get out of the kitchen so I can get things put away.”

When Gina was done, she went upstairs to take a long bath.  She hadn’t been sleeping well lately and felt exhausted.  She eased off her clothes and stood in front of the mirror, determining that any hopes of returning to her twenty-year-old body were long gone.  She combed her long, blonde hair and washed the make-up from her face while the tub filled with water.

Gina turned on the massage jets and settled into her bath.  She opened her romance novel, only to be interrupted by her husband shortly afterward.  “Can you hurry up?  I’m meeting some friends from the car club for dinner.”

“We planned to take the boys to a movie tonight.”

“Sorry.  I thought that was tomorrow night.  I’ve already committed.  I’m sure the boys won’t mind.  Go ahead without me.”

Gina grumbled.  This was the fourth time in a row he had bailed on family plans with some lame, last minute excuse.  She was getting tired of it. 

She picked up the romance novel again, determined to steal a few more minutes of time for herself.  She came to a rather juicy part in the book where the tall, dark hero sweeps the smart, young beauty off her feet and they share the excitement of making love for the first time.  Gina thought about earlier times when her husband would have instantly shed his clothes and joined her in the tub.  And, she would have welcomed him enthusiastically.  Now, they were two people who shared children, bills and living quarters—but not much else.

Gina was nearly asleep when her husband returned late that evening.  He quietly got into bed and turned out the light.  “Did you have a good time?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Who all was there?”

“Just the usual people.  Why?”

“No reason.  Good night.”  Gina adjusted her pillow and wondered if the ‘usual people’ were all men.  Then, she decided that it didn’t bother her if they weren’t.

The next day Gina dropped the kids at school and went to work.  She spent the morning at her desk.  There was a lower volume of email emergencies than she expected, so she took the opportunity to wrap up her latest project ahead of schedule.

At lunchtime, she walked across the street to the Thai restaurant.  There was a big crowd of people just inside the door.  She navigated her way through to the counter.  Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a tall, thin man with brown hair and brown eyes approaching from the crowd.  She greeted her old boss with a grin and a hug.  “How are you?”

“Okay.  And you?

“Pretty good.  Can you join me?” 

“No, I’ve already eaten.  Let’s grab a drink after work and catch up.  I’ll swing by around five.” 

“Sounds great.  I’ll meet you out front.”

Gina’s old boss was the kind people hate to leave.  He gave her recognition when she was right, and supported her when she was wrong—all the time encouraging her to push herself to go farther and do more with her skills.  In fact, if Gina hadn’t been offered a position equal to his at another company, she would still be working for him. Unfortunately, they had fallen out of touch after she took her new job.

Shortly before five o’clock, Gina called her husband and told him she had last minute plans.  He would have to pick up the boys from basketball and wrestling practice that evening.  Her husband grumbled at the late notice.  It was satisfying to pay him back for the previous night.

She flipped her cell phone closed and looked outside.  Clouds were setting in, so she grabbed her umbrella and walked to the building entrance to wait. 

After a few minutes, a dark blue BMW pulled up.  Gina smiled and climbed into the car.  “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought we might catch up faster if we avoided the bars,” he said.  He held up a six-pack of wine coolers.  “Let’s find a spot, and we can polish these off while we talk.”  Gina nodded.  The suggestion was much more palatable since she detested the lingering smell of bar smoke.

They drove to a small park nearby.  He shut off the car and then opened two wine coolers, handing one to Gina.  “So, tell me what’s been going on.”

“Things at work are great.  I’ve just finished a huge project and the CEO has asked me to join the long-term planning team.”

“I knew you were headed for greatness.”  He held out his bottle in a toasting motion.  “To a successful career.”

Gina touched her bottle to his and decided to inquire about his wife.  “How is Megan?”

“She’s doing well.  She’s taking acting classes.  I think she’s been bitten by the theater bug.”

“Please tell her I said ‘Hi’.  She and I should go to lunch.”

“I will.”  He began to fidget with his car keys.  “So, how are things on the home front?”

“Pretty normal, I suppose.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, you know, when you’ve been married for twenty years, you settle in.”

He took a quick drink from his bottle.  “Or, you decide not to.”

Gina glanced at his hands and realized that he was no longer wearing a wedding ring.  “I’m sorry,” she said.  “Can I ask what happened?”

“Things just weren’t working anymore.  There was this huge part of our relationship that was gone and neither of us was really happy.  So, after some soul searching, I realized that I care about Megan, but as a friend.  Not a wife.”

Gina found herself identifying all too well with his words.  “I can understand.”  She searched for something else to say.  “Did you try counseling?  I probably sound cliché, don’t I?”

He smiled.  “If I had a dime.” 

He took a long drink from his bottle and then turned to face her, resting his arm across the top of the seat.  “So, tell me how you do it.  How do you keep a long-term relationship from going stale?”

This time, it was Gina who took a long drink.  She turned and gazed out the car window.  The wind had picked up and was now bending the old oak trees that lined the far end of the park.  “I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer that question.”  It started to rain. 

“So, I may not be the only one, then.”  Gina noticed that his voice was closer.

She turned to find him next to her.  His face had grown more serious.  “Did you ever wonder, I mean, while we were working together, what would have happened if we had been single?”

Gina felt a rush of panic.  “We shouldn’t be having this conversation.”

He gently took her face in his hands. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.  That’s not what this is about.  But when I saw you today it stirred feelings I didn’t realize were there.” 

He leaned toward her.  Gina was unable to move.  The panic she felt was gone. Without warning, it had changed to excitement.  She closed her eyes and tilted her head.  His lips were soft and comfortable.  She found herself responding to his kiss. 

After a few moments, he pulled back and they looked at each other.  They kissed again, this time more passionately.  She relaxed and drew into him.  Fire began to race through her.  He felt so good, and she was tired of being dead inside. 

Gina’s physical instincts began to take over.  She was filling with a raw desire she barely recognized. She pressed closer and ran her fingers up the back of his neck.  They kissed again.  Her head swam in a rush of intoxication.  She was in the middle of an erotic dream. 

She fought to stay in control.  Her thoughts turned to her children and her husband.  Gina wondered how she would live with the consequences.  But her body—now fully ready and waiting—was far beyond caring.

Gina’s heart, however, didn’t abandon her.  Suddenly, her head was clear again.  She pulled back.  “I’m sorry.  I can’t do this.” 

He took a deep breath and eased back to the driver’s seat.  “This probably isn’t the catching up either of us had in mind, huh.”

“It’s not that I’m not attracted to you.  I think we both know that would be a lie.”  Gina finished her drink and returned the bottle to the carton.  “But, while I may not be ‘in’ love with my husband, I do still love him.  I also promised to be faithful to him.  And, I don’t think I could live with myself if I broke that promise.”

He finished his drink and put the empty beside hers in the carton and gave a sigh of resignation.  “You always were the wiser one.  I’ll take you back to your car.” 

The two rode back to Gina’s office in silence.  They knew would never speak again.  He drove away and she began to cry.

Gina wept for most of the drive home.  She should have felt better, but she didn’t.  Instead of the comfort that comes with making the right decision, she now felt conflicted and full of guilt.  She pulled the car into the garage and sat for a few minutes to rid her face of the tears. 

When she finally walked in the door she found life as usual.  The kids were playing on the TV game box and her husband was reading the paper in his recliner.  Gina went to the refrigerator and pulled out the makings for dinner.

She kept a casual distance from everyone that evening, fearful that they would see through her.  Later, she worked on the computer and waited until her husband fell asleep before turning in. 

Gina pulled the covers around her.  She was still so unsettled that she couldn’t even close her eyes.

She sat up and looked at her husband, who was now snoring.  Once, he was larger than life.  Daring.  Commanding.  Romantic.  Unpredictable.  A look from him could make her float.  A touch or a gentle kiss sent her emotions soaring.

Gina looked at her aging body and wondered how much she had changed in his eyes as well.  She knew one thing for certain.  She was vulnerable.  And it scared her.  Things couldn’t go on like they were.  She put her hand on her husband’s forehead and brushed back his hair.  He rolled toward her and opened his eyes slightly.  “Is something wrong?”

“We need to talk,” she said.  And she turned on the light.