Changing Minds

Changing Minds

         Nightmares chased him: tangent beings of belief. Confusion… He was confused.  That word alone taunted him, dodging his recollection for days.  The words did that now.  They skimmed across his memory, made a game of it all, then submitted themselves, once again, to his mind.  He tried, unsuccessfully, to find words for the things which came for him, called for him, clawed for him…

         Jared Davenshire gnawed at his bottom lip, his mind bludgeoned by nervous confliction.  True to the fashion of plebeian concepts, someone had only to think, proclaim, and eventually believe it: validity, by way of unanimous stupidity.  Who was the man or woman that could possibly know the reality of a situation as dire as his, and still come to that conclusion? How dare anyone, never confronted by his present choice, as if it was even that, make such a bold proclamation? And more important to his current predicament, why, if such an outlandish idea, did it keep him from following through with the commitment he made days earlier?  Suicides don’t go to Heaven... Well, how could Hell be any worse?

         Jared, safe in knowing he couldn’t be seen by anyone below him, cried openly.

         He almost tried to remember how he ended up precariously perched on the only roof high enough to guarantee certain death.  The memory hurt, and he quickly abandoned the pursuit. Besides, it wasn’t like he could forget.  He would never forget, not unless… No, not yet, soon…

         And, as it often happened when he tried not to think of something, he found he could think of nothing else: the most horrible night of his life.  He came home from a day of tedious work, anticipating the embrace of his wife.  He found the bodies of his beloved Cassy, and their two beautiful sons, Isaac and Jameson.  His wife had been stabbed repeatedly. He only hoped his sons died before they could whiteness their mother’s ghastly fate.

         He tried to swallow the emotions.  He had a right to die.  God made a mistake.  His spent his entire life, or gave his best attempt, to be a good man.  He thought he had been successful.  At the least, he had been successful enough to deserve a life not poisoned with the horrific scene he walked into that night.  If God intended to take his family, for whatever reason, surely He meant for Jared to be included in the slaughter.  Something happened, the whole mess… fumbled…, and he still lived.  Therefore, how could God be angry with him, for taking his own, already forfeited, life?

         A few townspeople noticed the indiscernible figure, standing in a glassless window, and began to point. Whatever discussion they might be having could not be heard from so high up, and Jared tried to ignore them.  He took too long. The deed was supposed to be done before sunrise, and here it was broad daylight.  He should do it soon, before more spectators joined the group of still shadowy figures beneath him.

         He closed his eyes, trying to focus. He wanted to jump.  Oh God, did he ever want to jump.  Alas, he was bound, by some immeasurable force, to that small area of ledge.  Something existed between his desire for an ending and his ability to step off, knowing he would find nothing but empty air beneath him.  What stopped him? Weakness? Cowardice? …Maybe, somewhere deep within, he still possessed the will to live, the hope to imagine an end to his pain that did not require the end to his life.  Could it be so… How could a man, so miserable, still have hope?

         More people gathered around the building. They couldn’t possibly tell who was standing on the ledge, and were apparently intrigued by the mystery.  Jared just wished they never noticed him.  He wanted time to understand this confliction he felt.  If he really had some small amount of life left in him, what should he do? If he left the ledge, what would bring him satisfaction?  Vengeance?  But how could he leave the ledge with all those expectant people?  He probably couldn’t wait them out, they were hungry for whatever was about to transpire. Stalk-like, Jared stood, yet to decided: jump, or live?

~~~~~~~~~~~

         Tunnel City existed as a cancerous infestation beneath the ruins of a city whose name was now unimportant, remembered only to that sort of people that enjoying knowing useless facts.  After the fall of civilization, the web of underground railroad offered two very desired elements; already built, and easy to access.  Chopped and divided amongst various gangs, the surface still served most of the city's diminished population.  Tunnel remained the only place open to everyone, not ruled by any one faction.  The city defined the word slum however, remaining unclaimed only because no one wanted it.

           "Mom, I'm hungry." Only eight years old, Laralyn never said mommy or mamma. She just said 'mom'.  Similar idiosyncrasies, for most strangers, added up to an overall weird sort of child.  She had the personality of an old crabby woman, interrupted by fits of random childishness.  Only a few people, her mother and a handful of others, learned to accept her personality.  More often than not, she was simply avoided or ignored.

        "I know Larsie, Mommy knows."

        Laralyn scrunched up her nose and sat in silence, like she always did when she wanted people to notice her discontent.  She hated the nickname Larsie.  Her mother, aware of her daughter’s particular mannerisms, preferred silence to complaints of hunger. They constantly struggled to find food, a fact which broke her mother's heart more and more everyday.

        "Just let me think for a bit, Lara."  Julia didn't need time to think, she needed time to once again choke down what little dignity she possessed. Resigning herself to what she came to realize days ago, Julia rose from her seat on the steps of an abandoned building.  She paused a moment before taking Laralyn's hand, then set off to face the inevitable, off to sell the only valuable thing left to her, off to the entrance of Tunnel City.

        Julia wound her way through a dense crowd, firmly gripping Lara's hand.  The child observed the familiar scene with more than a little detachment.  Their destination, a line of subway cars repurposed for profitable enterprise, eventually presented itself.  A short grub of a man moved to greet the pair.  He reeked of alcohol and glowed with greed.  He sickened her.

        "Ah... Come lookin fer work, have yeh?" He observed Julia's agreeable features with clear intent.

        "Yes, Fletcher.  Is Pony around? I need someone to watch after Lara while I conduct business."

        "Oh, ya that oaf aroun' her summers. Yer in luck. I got a customer all lined up for ya.  He been lookin fer sumtin like you for a while."  He produced a greasy lipped smile.  "Wait here.  I'll go fetch him."

        Julia turned to Laralyn and hugged her.  "Mommy has to talk, for a while, with the man Fletcher is bringing back.  After I'm done, I promise, we'll get something to eat.  Does that sound good, baby?"

        "Yeah, Mom."
Fletcher returned with a giant of a man, who said nothing, as he entered one of the old train cars.  Another man with a long pony tail, for which he was aptly named, Also returned with Fletcher.  Lara liked Pony, he wasn't much for games, and neither was she. He also didn't avoid talking to her, an ability most adults didn’t have.  Pony led her over to an empty bench and sat down with her.

          Right away, Lara noticed the posters which normally served to occupy her imagination, had been torn away to reveal a peculiar painting on the side of a train car.  The unusual image perplexed the child.  No concept of such a place existed for Lara.  When asked about the curios landscape, Pony explained the mural to be an advertisement, whatever that was, for a vacation area.  He said, in the old world, people left their homes to visit other places for fun.  This place, a beach, was where the ocean water met up with the ground.  People liked the beach because they felt calm. Two colorful things lay on the sand. People sat under them to keep from getting too hot. Two of them... Just two?

                Growling in Lara's stomach earned her looks from nearby people. She wanted to knock on the door to her mother's train car.  Lara, however, knew to ignore this impulse, now.  The thought of that lesson made her shudder.  After an eternity, her mother came out of the car.  Pony jumped and ran to her, yelling something Lara didn't understand.  He then bolted for the train, nearly slamming through the car's door before Julia could stop him. They talked for a bit, Pony walked away, and Laralyn ran to her mother.

        Julia now sported a purple bruise around her eye and her shirt was a little torn.  Lara thought she might have seen a tear in her mother's eye.

        "You ready to go, sweetie?" Julia asked her daughter in a shaky voice.

        "Yes, mom.  Are you okay?

        "Yes, baby."

        "Mom, can we go to a beach some day?" Lara pointed at the painting.

        Julia just stood for a moment, then spoke with a steadier, more confident voice. "Yes Lara, one day."

        "There are only two 'brellas, so... that means it'll just be me and you right mom?"

        Julia hugged her daughter tightly. "You. Me. No one else, baby. No one else."


         “It’s no good, Julia.  Ain’t no way they’ll let you go.” Pony didn’t care if his frustration was obvious.  He grew tired of repeating himself.

         “They will.  They’re short on volunteers and even shorter on food.  They don’t give a damn who goes, as long someone goes.”

         “Yeah, but ain’t no salvager’s party gonna let a young, fragile, mother of an eight year old girl on their team.  And even if one did, what are you gonna do with Larsie.  No way, they’ll take her on as well.

         “Yeah, about that…  Pony, why do think I came to you with this?”

         “Well, you said. You said you wanted to know, if I knew anyone who could help. To which I replied, no.”

         “True, but who else would I ask to watch Lara for me, while I’m gone?”

         “Oh! I knew it! Well, forgot it Julia.  I don’t mind watching the kid every now and then.  Hell, I even kinda like her, but there is no way I can watch her all day and night.  Do you know how long you will be gone?  If, and I stress the word if, you come back at all, it could be weeks.  Where would she sleep?  How would I keep an eye on her?  It ain’t like I can bring her to work, that’d be more dangerous than letting her wander the streets.”

         “I know it won’t be easy, Pony.  I really need this though.  I will make money, and It’ll be better than whoring for food.  Look, if I make enough, I will pay you to watch Lara.”

         “Ain’t no amount of money could make me agree to this.”

         “Jesus Pony! I’m begging you.  I don’t have anyone else to ask…”

         ‘This is foolishness!” Pony interrupted. “Damned foolishness! Why do you think they’re so desperate for salvagers? It’s cause they keep getting killed.  You ain’t thinking, girl.  And I ain’t gunna end up a daddy.  Forget it.”

         Julia turned away so he couldn’t see the tears in her eyes. She was hurt, and angry.  She started to walk away, unable to think of anything to say, when she felt a hand on her arm.

         “I’m sorry I yelled.  But, you really gotta think about this a little more, Julia.”

         “You couldn’t understand.”

         “Couldn’t I? Don’t I live on the same streets you do?”

         “We live on the same streets, but we don’t live the same.”

         “Of course we…”

         “Bullshit!” Her temper broke, and her voice steadily grew louder. “You, could never know how it is to live like me.  When’s the last time you let a stranger do whatever, beat you, and call you a bitch while you just laid there?  When did you have to do that so your eight year old daughter could eat? When!”

         Julia glared at him, trying to force all her anger into his stupid face.  She couldn’t allow her self to look away, for fear that she would cry in front of him.

         Pony was shocked. He’d been yelled at before, but never had he deserved it so, and he knew it.  He tried to apologize, making a feeble attempt to explain his ignorance.  He eventually grabbed her, and held her as she cried into his shoulder.

         “damn it, whoever let the secret out deserves an ass-kicking.”

         She raised her head. “What?”

         “Yeah, whoever the idiot was that let it out that no decent man could resist a crying woman… He’s owed a good ass-kicking.” He smiled. “I’ll do what I can to help.  But don’t blame me if she’s picked up any bad habits when you get back.

         She returned his smile. “Please… You’re a teddy bear.  She’ll have you whipped into shape in no time.”
         They shared a laugh as Julia dried her tears and followed Pony towards Tunnel City.

~~~~~~~~~~~

         It was language, which startled him one morning.  He saw something fly over as he lay on the ground, and heard the word muttered, unwittingly, from his own lips. Bird…  He knew, somehow, the thing above him was important in some way.

         He jumped to his feet, heart pounding, and stood silently for what might have been hours; struggling with the concept he stumbled onto.  His mind, almost incapable of sorting it out, tried to betray him.  Eventually, he realized that thing had a place, it belonged, it had… a name. The idea of things having names took him weeks to understand. Since then, his mind insisted on doing strange back flips, and teasing him with half fulfilled conceptions.

         Now, he crouched over a small puddle of water, looking into his own reflection.  This image, which he learned to associate with himself, appeared out of place.  He continued to glare at his own face, which looked as if it should be familiar to him, but was not.  Maybe, it changed from how ever it used to look. He didn’t know. So many things, he didn’t know anymore. So many things… He couldn’t stop running from the monsters long enough to search for any real answers. Still, he wondered, what was his name?

~~~~~~~~~~~

         Arrangements were made, people pushed, strings pulled, favors called in, and all before Julia could really prepare herself.  She didn’t have much to worry about, except the care of Laralyn, for which she relied on Pony and a few other friends.  She sat on a raggedy couch in what passed for their home with her knees drawn up to her chin, watching her daughter eat a meager bowl of cabbage soup.  She wondered how she would explain everything to girl, and still hadn’t decided weather or not to mention the possibility that she might never return.  How could she make this seem less worrisome for an eight year old, when she could barley think about it?

         Not telling Lara before this point was an injustice.  The child had only three days to come to terms with her mother’s pending absence.  Julia decided she was weak and admitted she was more afraid of being without Lara, than Lara would be.  She watched as the child finished her supper, putting a grungy finger into the bowl to scoop out the last bit of broth.

         “Lara dear, come sit by Mommy for a bit.”

         “Okay.” Lara put the bowl down on the floor, replacing it with her favorite doll before going to her mother.  Being an observant child, she could tell something was wrong.  “Am I in trouble mom?”

         “No, Sweetie.  I just need to talk to you about something.” Julia looked at her daughter’s toy with a bit of disgust.  The doll was dirty and almost stricken of any features.  All the buttons had fallen off, leaving only the tell-tales of the stitching that once secured them.  The dirt and grim that covered the pitiful thing didn’t bother Julia. Nothing was ever clean in their world.  The fact she could not afford a proper toy for her child is what made her sick.

         “What would you say, if I told you that Mommy might be able to buy you a brand new doll soon?”

         Lara thought about this for a moment.  In truth, she always preferred the doll, dismembered as it was, to other dolls she had seen.  Pretty dolls were owned by pretty, rich, little girls, or at least rich girls.  She didn’t like the pretty, rich, little girls.  She felt her doll, Cindy, was a more realistic friend.  Cindy, would never make fun of her, or tell her she was weird.  Despite her relationship with her doll, she knew an adult could not understand this.  She also knew when adults made promises, it meant they were about to tell her something bad, and decided to pretend she would enjoy a new doll, for her mother’s sake.

         “Really Mom?” She gave her best attempt to show enthusiasm.

         “Yes, Sweetie, but not just a new doll.  Mommy would also be able to buy better food, and maybe some new clothes for us both.”

         Lara was nervous now. “How?”

         “Well, I’m going to be working for a few weeks… I’m… going to have to leave, Lara.”

         Lara’s world fled the scene.  Not, for one day, in her entire life, had she been without her mother.  She loved her mother.  Her mother loved her.  This was not true for anyone else.  There were a few people she liked, but she didn’t love anyone but her mother.

         “What? Why?” Lara couldn’t keep the fear from her voice.

         “I’m going outside the town Lara, to salvage for food and other things.  I will be with a group that will stay out there for a few weeks.  Don’t worry Sweetie. Pony is going to watch after you while I’m gone.  You like Pony, don’t you?”

         Lara knew of the world outside the town only has a place she never wanted to go.  The stories of what happened there were full of strange, unhappy things.

         “Don’t go!”

         “Sweetie, I have too.  I know you’re too young to understand, but Mommy can’t keep… working for Mr. Fletcher.  If I do this, people will treat us better.  We won’t have to be so afraid of everyone…”

         “No! Mom, don’t go!  What if something bad happens?”

         “Nothing bad will happen, Lara.”

         “It’s not safe out there.  Bad stuff happens out there!”

         “Lara…  I don’t want to go.  I have to go.  You’ll be in good hands…”

         “But you won’t!  If you go, you’ll die!  You won’t ever come back. Please don’t go!”  Lara cried helplessly.

         “Lara, I’ll be extra safe and…”

         “Mommy please! Please don’t go!  Stay here, Mommy!” Lara dropped her doll and threw her arms around Julia’s neck in a death grip.  She cried into her mother’s hair, repeating her rant.”

         Julia didn’t know how to respond to this unprecedented display.  She held her daughter, and shared in the crying.  Something dawned on her after a few moments, Lara called her Mommy…  She never remembered her doing that before.  Julia referred to herself as Mommy all the time, but she didn’t really know why.  She wondered if Lara called her Mommy because she thought Julia would like to hear that, or maybe even concede to not go.  She smiled, and hugged her daughter more tightly.  She didn’t doubt Lara would be alright, whatever happened.


         Laralyn watched the goings on below her with apprehension.  She said her goodbye earlier in the day, and would not be able to speak to her mother again.  This was a different matter entirely.  Her mother would not be back for weeks, if then. Should something happen, this might be the last time she saw her mother.  She closed her eyes, trying to push that thought out of her mind.

         She sat on Pony’s shoulders, looking over the edge of the wall surrounding the city.  Just on the other side, her mother and several other people prepared to depart.  She found the image of her mother carrying a pistol to be interesting.  Her mother never seemed like someone who would have a gun.  The people below were all strong, healthy looking people.  Lara couldn’t help thinking her mother stood out, being small and skinny.

         Despite her dread, Lara found the whole spectacle entertaining.  Several large canvas covered wagons were lined up, teams of mules stamping the ground.  There were three of these wagons in her mother’s group.  The first was full of supplies, and the last two left empty.  Everyone carried weapons of some sort, mostly pistols and a rifle here and there.  Families of those departing were lined along the balcony, waving to their respective loved ones.  The whole affair had the feel of a parade. 

         She froze, seized by a moment of incomprehensible dread.  For Lara Lyn, this would be remembered as an all-of-a-sudden thing, never feeling as empty as in that instant.  Fear remained, everything else drained from her small body.  Attackers… Now? Not now!

         Men, dressed in flowing brown robes and armed with guns appeared from their hiding places behind various piles of ruble. No questions or demands.  The first announcement of their existence took the form of a gunshot, followed by a man lying dead on the ground.

         Chaos ensued.  Some salvagers who were able to control their wits began to take cover and fire back. Most of the victims, including Julia, just ran.  A few made it back to the gate.  Too late, they realized their mistake.  The gate doors remained unopened and unsympathetic, leering over the helpless salvagers falling to the ground, clutching their wounds before going limp.  Judgment passed, all were denied salvation.

         Julia managed to get behind a wagon.  She didn’t pull the pistol, fighting would only get her killed.  She noticed the leader of her group shouting commands to the men nearest him.  They spread out, some jumping in the driver’s seat of the wagons.  The rest took cover on the side opposite the attackers, and fired their weapons from whatever openings they found.

         Arnold, the leader, jumped in the back of a wagon, while someone else climbed into the driver’s seat.  He flipped the canvas covering over, and removed a belt fed machine gun.  He heaved the thing up, placing his feet apart for support, and fired. The beast spit metal with an eager ferocity.  A group of advancing attackers were cut down, their bodies turned to wet sponges.

         Julia looked back to the top of the wall in time to see Pony running for the steps, a kicking and screaming Lara held under his right arm.  She sighed.  Lara was okay, but what about herself?  She saw the bodies lying around the gate and knew she couldn’t just run for it.  She finally pulled her pistol and darted towards the group forming around Arnold and his machine gun.
Arnold killed anyone in the open who escaped the bullets of the other salvagers.  The rapid booming of machine gun fire acted as a rally call.  Everyone began to pile up behind the set of wagons that were being slowly driven away from the city walls.  When an attacker peeked over his cover, it exploded.  Eventually, the moving wall of wagons and bullets became too much for the attackers, and they began to flee. 

         No quarter was given.  No such thing as shooting a man in the back, not anymore.  Shooting a man was just that, and where you shot him made no difference.  The fleeing attackers left a trail of bodies behind them, many more than they managed to kill themselves. Blood and tears were everywhere.
         

         “I don’t get it.” A woman Julia never met before was poking the fire with a stick.  The salvagers regrouped and headed out in different directions after the fight.  There wasn’t much time to discuss what happened until night came, and they set up camp.  “Why, did they attack us?  I mean, right in front of the gate like that… What did they hope to do?”

         “Just wanted to do exactly what they did.” A man, sitting against a wagon wheel spoke up. “Only, my guess is they didn’t figure on us having that man-eater, or Arnold there,” he nodded towards their leader, “being made of piss and vinegar. Swear I ain’t ever seen anything like that before.  That man’s got some balls, I tell ya.”

         “What do you mean they did what they wanted to?”

         “They must have known the gates wouldn’t be opened up.  It’s standard procedure, you see.  When you sign up for this gig, you agree to the consequences.  They ain’t gunna open those doors and take the risk of letting the enemy in, even if it means watching us die.  Whoever attacked us knew that.  I image they wanted our families to see us dead and bloodied.  Make um think twice about sending more salvagers.”

         “What do they care what we do?” Julia asked.

         “Pickins are slim, Doll.  This ain’t the first time we had to fight salvagers from other towns or cities.  Guess they figured on being a bit more aggressive this time.  Who knows how long they have been waiting on us to send out a big party.  Probably thought they’d catch us by surprise and kill enough of us to scatter the rest so they could go after us later.”

         “But, how could they?  How could they just be okay with the slaughter of all those innocent people? What would they do then, go home to their families and pretend it never happened?”

         The man turned to Julia, looking at her levelly.  “Ain’t such thing as innocent out here, Gal.  You’d do well to keep that in mind.  You see someone who ain’t one of us, you shoot um. Besides, it ain’t just other salvagers you gotta worry about.  Hell, they’re not half as bad as the Rejected.”

         Julia knew of the Rejected, everyone did.  She even knew one or two of them, before they got sick of course.  She understood running into them often happened.  Had she ever thought they could be worse than a group of armed bloodthirsty men, she would never have agreed to this.

         When Julia was still a small child, much younger than Lara, the world began to die.  Plants of every kind, all over the world, decayed.  Scientists scrambled to find the cause, letting all other pursuits fall by the way side.  Some strange virus took the blame.  Scientists then set out to find a cure.  They did, too late.

         By the time the plant life began to recover, civilization fell.  Death danced in the streets as nations and neighbors alike turned against each other.  Julia still remembered the piles of burning bodies and the mass graves.  Her parents suffered the common fate, murdered in their home.  Thankfully, she never witnessed their bodies. One of her mother’s friends stopped her before she could walk into the house.

         A year passed before things settled down.  People began grouping together in small communities.  Julia lived with other orphans, watched after by a couple who lost their own children during the collapse.  Her life almost approached normal. The real horrors still waited.

         Rare cases of severe depression, even insanity, were reported.  The number of cases grew.  People jumped from buildings, drowned themselves, shot themselves, they committed suicide in every way imaginable.  Worse than the suicides, were the ones who killed others.  At first, it all seemed so random.  A man would simply walk into the kitchen, grab a knife, and then stab his wife.  Mother’s killed children. Some simply ran down the streets, shooting or stabbing anyone they saw.  People turned into monsters.

         Scientists discovered the cure to the virus that nearly killed the plant life was now to blame.  The cure mutated and worked its way into the food supply.  That was the real horror. They realized that everyone who lived long enough would eventually suffer the same fate.  The cure became the curse.  Even worse, there was no solution for the insanity.  No one ever came back from the affliction.  Everyone was doomed.

         However, surviving is what people do best.  It became clear that despite the fate that awaited everyone, our species still had a chance.  The sickness was unpredictable.  A person might grow to be very old before he lost his mind.  Life still had the same meaning it always did.  The insanity and depression could be thought of as any other form of death.  As long as everyone followed one simple rule, life could continue.  When someone showed signs of suicide or insanity, they had to go.  People were given a choice. They could either be executed in a manner of their own choosing, or they could be exiled from what ever town in which the lived.

         Given the sickness often began showing signs long before full insanity took over, many people chose the exile.  They were taken far beyond the town limits, given a small amount of provisions, and left.  First however, they received a tattoo on their left arm. They were branded: Reject.  It wasn’t meant to be a name.  The word was an instruction to any who might consider taken in the traveler.

         Julia sat, by herself now, and watched the fire burn.  The flames flickered happily, unconcerned with humanly woes.  She tugged a blanket around her, rolling over on her side.  She fell asleep, wondering how Lara coped with the events of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~

         Across the landscape, a violent animal howled. “My name… My name… MY NAME!  What Is My Name?”

         Across the landscape, no answer was given…

~~~~~~~~~~~

         Lara Lyn found it surprisingly easy to make her way through town at night.  Being small had its advantages.  Despite her age, she knew the sort of people to avoid.  Eight years in a destroyed world taught lessons of that sort quickly enough.  When she couldn’t remain unseen, she found most adults chose to dismiss her anyway.

         She wore a brown hooded coat, and a backpack filled with only the essentials- a tiny knife, small amount of food, change of clothes, and Cindy.  She didn’t have time to gather much more.  Every second she waited could be the second Pony awoke to find her absent.

         Lara couldn’t help feeling excited.  Her first time to ever outright defy an adult scared her a little.  At the same time, she could almost taste the adventure in it all.  As she saw it, she had just two problems.  First, she couldn’t very well just walk out of the gates.  Secondly, she didn’t have a clue how to actually go about finding her mother.  None of that stopped this ‘anything is possible’ feeling.

         She finally came to the gates.  They were larger than she remembered.  Somehow, the reality of this obstacle surprised her, now that she had to confront it.  How could she hope to get through that?  Lara decided to wait a while, study the situation, make a good decision. 

         After a few minutes, an eternity to an eight year old, Lara grew impatient.  She reached into her backpack to retrieve Cindy.  Maybe she could offer some advice.  If Cindy saw any way around the problem, she didn’t say.  Cindy liked to play games like that.  She was eager to go with Lara in the beginning.  Now it seemed she might be having second thoughts.  Silly doll, always getting them into trouble and never helping them get out… Of course!  She gave Cindy a peck on the cheek. “Smart thinking, Cindy!”

         Lara tucked her friend into her backpack, smiling to herself.  She then made her way to a set of stairs leading to the balcony people used to see the salvagers off.  She climbed, careful to stay as hidden as best she could.  When she reached the top, she crept along as far as she dared, then removed Cindy once again.

         “Don’t be scared, Cindy.  I’ll be there soon to get you.” She gave the doll a comforting kiss and tossed it over the side of the wall.

         Lara silently climbed down the steps and headed towards the gates.  They did not look as big as they had earlier.  She stopped a moment to find her ‘sad face’ then slowly walked up to a guard, sniffling a bit.

         The guard didn’t notice her until she stood at his side.  He jumped slightly. “Whoa! Little Girl… scared me.”

         “Scared by a little girl eh?”

         “Shuddup Ricky…” The guard noticed the expression Lara wore. “What’s wrong, Little One?”

         Sniffle. “I dropped my doll.”

         “Where did you drop it?”

         Lara pointed towards the gate.

         “…You dropped your doll… outside the town?  That can’t be, Little One.”

         Sniffle. Sad face. Sniffle again.

         The guard sighed; convinced he was being played with.  “You couldn’t have dropped your doll outside.  You couldn’t have even gotten outside.” He crouched down, reaching eye level with Lara. “Little Girl, did someone put you up to this?  You can tell me the truth, I won’t be mad.”

         “No…” Sniffle. “I was up there.” Lara pointed to the balcony. “We were… waiting for Mommy to come back, and I held my doll up so she could see over, but I dropped her.”

         “…Damn.  I can’t open this gate, especially not at night.  Maybe, and I’m not making promises, if you come back during the day…  I’m sorry, Little One.”

         Sad face. Multiple sniffles. “Please, Mister? She is just right outside there.  She’s all alone and scared.” Lara, thinking of her mother, managed to produce a few tears.

         The guard frowned. “Well…” He looked at Ricky.

         “No way.  Geoff, you saw what happened yesterday.  You can’t possibly even think of opening this gate. “

         “Cummon Rick. Look at the poor thing.  He mum must have been one of the ones that went out.  She’s scared to death.  Look, just open it for a second.  If I see the thing, I will grab it.  If I don’t, then forget it.” He looked at Lara. “That’s the best I can do, Child.”

         Lara nodded, smiling.  She didn’t more than a second.

         Rick scratched his chest, looking around. “Fine, but just for one damned second Geoff.  I’m serious.”

         Lara didn’t hesitate for a moment. As soon as the guard opened the gate, she darted towards the crack, and slid through.

         “Oh! What the hell, Kid!”

         Luckily, Cindy really was just on the other side of the gate.  Lara scooped up her doll, never stopping.  The guard followed her only a few steps before realizing he would not catch her before she got passed the rubble responsible for hiding yesterday’s attackers.  Lara disappeared into the night.
         

~~~~~~~~~~~

         What a bad idea.  Lara sat down, trying not to let fear overwhelm her.  She realized how childishly she thought about her adventure in the beginning.  Why didn’t she see that if this place could be so dangerous for her mother, traveling with a group of armed men and women, that it would be even more dangerous for a girl?  A stupid little girl…  She couldn’t even go home now.  She somehow got turned around in the night.

         Now what? Would she starve, or get killed by the same people that attacked her mother?  Maybe she would be killed by the crazy people that wandered around outside of towns.  Lara could not deny her fear any longer.  She cried, holding tightly to Cindy.

         A smaller one… Without the bigger one?  He never saw that before.  What was it doing, setting there? He crouched behind the empty husk of what used to be an automobile, watching the small monster.  This was very strange.  The little ones were always with the big ones, and none of them ever just sat around.  Was this some kind of trap?

         Lara felt the uncertainty grow inside, manifesting itself as a sick feeling in her stomach. “Oh… What am I going to do?” She sighed. “Well, I got nothing to do I guess.”  Lara checked her food supply.  She still had a couple biscuits, and some water.  “Might as well eat breakfast.”

         She put Cindy on the ground and began eating her biscuits.  Food… Things were marginally better, at least until she became hungry again.  Creeeaakk… Her heart stopped. What was that noise?

         Creeeaak…  Oh no! He didn’t mean to lean on the old rusty contraption.  Now the little monster knew he was there! Run? Wait… Why didn’t it attack?

         Someone was there, behind that old car!  Lara broke, unable resist instinct.  Death watched her, good luck catching her!  She ran as fast as her little legs could manage.  Her blood surged wildly.  A panic like none she ever felt turned everything into chaos. Run! Run! RUN!