Respond, if you can

I do not know what you felt
As you breathed out your last,
For me, the battlements shook,
Lightning struck and darkness arose.
It was probably an end for you,
To an inexplicable suffering of a kind,
But was not half as much for me.
If you thought leaving me could help,
Rid me of troubles and bring me smiles,
A plant could have grown without a seed.
Helpless were you and helpless was I,
As time was running out, I did realize -
My selfish thought kept you merely ticking,
When death stood in the middle, again,
My heart was weak; I was letting you go…
I often wonder, if we’d meet again,
Will you be there, and feel it’s me,
When I follow, in my turn?