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Paper i'm doing for my AP english class.
Namath Farriell: Tragic hero

There once was a bearded man-child who at birth was given the name Namath Maximus Pharriell. His origin was mysterious. Some say he was sent directly from God, others say he was half man half beast. Still others say he was a mere primate roaming the forests of North America who became somewhat literate. Though his true background not be known for certain his tale is well documented. The written down account of his life begins at the age of seventeen. He was a odd figure, not large in stature but who's fiercness rivaled that of the wild meerkats of the Kalihari. He seemed intent with his life of pillaging the countryside taking only what he needed for survival, but this was not to be for him. Many challeges and obstacles routinely fell across his path. He met these challeges without fear or doubt in his mind that he would easily defeat whichever adversary would amuse him by as much to challenge him. He cruised through enemies like a war machine. He seem invincible and unstoppable by any mere mortal. That was any mere male mortal.
Our hero became bored with himself and with his non worthy challengers. He began to wonder what was outside the only kingdom of which he had ever known. So he set off on a journey, better yet a quest. A quest of fullilment and self-satisfaction. He had not ventured far outside his home borders when he came accross a group of peasants. They were all in conversational frenzy. He overheard this and asked one peasant to what all this commotion be of? "It is of Lady Swift" the peasant replied. "Who is this Lady Swift you speak of?" Maximus Pharriell asked. The group of peasants erupted telling stories of her beauty and her uncanny musical abilities. He silenced them until he could get a good account of to whom she was and where she had come from. He had gathered the information that she was a traveling gypsie from a far off land of Hendersonville, Tennessee. He thought i must go see this woman for myself and take my own judgement for she cannot be as grand as everyone has spoken of her. So he directed his uncharted journey to find this fair lady.
He began his route to the kingdom of Hendersonville when the people of his own region heard of his intentions they questioned his motives and whether he would actually go through with it all. When Namath Maximus heard of their inquiries he became angry. He went on a rampage through the town destroying buildings and breathing fire on the fruits of the land until all was destroyed. He then proclaimed "Build it all back, but bigger and more impressive. It is to be fit for a King... And his Mrs. when I return." The towns people were frightened. Not knowing the time table of his return they began to rebuild immediately.
As for Maximus Pharriell he began his journey. He traveled many days and nights until he reached a great body of water. It was the mighty Mississippi. Upon his arrival to the river he came upon a small town where he stopped for the night. He was took in kindly by the townspeople as a guest and they asked of his intentions. As he was telling him of his plans they all became frantic and nervous. He asked them what the matter was and an elder of the people spoke " There have been many before you go on a jouney like this. The Lady Swift is the most desirable women on the entire planet and there has been thousands go after her." Maximus became confused and asked why this concerned him when the elder replied. " To get to her is a daunting enough challenge itself, only few have made it that far. To go even further and win her heart is thought to be impossible." Maximus asked why this was and how it was known. The elder said it was unknown as to why such an eligle young lady couldn't find a suitor, but the oral traditons of past accounts to capture her heart where written down by her and sung after each had failed." Maximus began to question if even he was great enough to take on the task, but he persevered and pressed onward.
The next morning Pharriell set off to cross the Mississippi. He came upon the bridge to which he must cross when a horrid creature appeared. The creature lurked towards the mighty Namath and boasted out, "Who are you and why have you come here?" Maximus stepped forward meeting him eye to eye and proclaimed "I have come to find Lady Swift, meet her and if charmed enough take her back to my homeland to be my wife." The creature snicked. He was a mannish figure with a dark complexion. He also had a very peculiar object covering his eyes. It looked to be a pair of glasses but they were covered with small bars running horizontally across them. Pharriell though to himself there is no way he can see out of those? He must have a mental disabilities. The creature snorted out "As the great Kanye I have the ability to interrupt whoever I may so choose and my opinion is far greater than any other." The so called Kanye went on to tell how he once interrupted th Ms. Swift at a great gathering. As she was giving a heart-felt proclomation Kanye jumped in front of her and took the crowds attention. He said that she wasn't the fairest lady of them all and that title belonged to someone else. Upon hearing this a fierce rage burned in Maximus Pharriell's eyes. He grabbed the alien creature called Kanye and punted him over the nearest mountains, which happened to be about two and a half days horseride away. "There you go you attention mongrel, learn some manners when you hit the ground!" Pharriell roared.
Namath Maximus Pharriell continued on his journey and before long he had hit the land of Tennessee. He got directions to the Hendersonville district and had arrived there just as the sun had began to sit. He found the spot where the Lady Swift called home. He went up to the gates where he saw the most beautiful woman ever placed God's green earth. She looked at him and smiled. A lump grew in his throat. He was unable to speak. As she approached him he began to feel like he had never felt before. He was nervous for the first time in his life. She asked how he was and he managed to muscle out "Oh i'm just wonderful, lovely day we're having isn't it?"
"Why yes it is," she replied.
"Are you the lovely Lady Swift that people constantly rave on about? Pharriell asked.
"You could say that i suppose," she grinned, "but you can call me Taylor."
Both of them felt as if they had met each other before, as if they was some kind of natural connection between them. They hit it off marvelously and before long they he was invited to stay with her for the night. That night they both shared their stories of how they came to be and what brought them here to this very place. Ms. Swift was flattered when Namath told her what an arduous trip he had taken just to see her. The muscian Tim Mcgraw serenaded them as they spoke to each other. She told her stories of past loves that forsakened her for only God knows why. The two star crossed lovers went on as they were destined to do, and fell in love. He was to take her hand in marriage the very next day, and after that she was to go and live out her life with him in his home country. But that night tradegy occurred.
Namath Maximus Pharriell tossed and turned in his sleeping quarters. He had fallen deeply in love with a woman, which he had never done before. But not any woman, but of woman of his fiance's caliber who fascinanated his mind with how wonderful she was. Then all of a sudden an mental impact of great force hit Maximus Pharriell's mind, "Oh dear, what have i done?" he asked himself. He put together the stories that were told to him by the elder man by the river and the peasants that had told him of his beloved. He realized why no man had ever been able to hold her heart before. Ii was meant to be that way. For God put such a glorious figure on this earth for all to share, not just one single man. If he were to marry her how would she able to tell her stories of heartbreak and sing her tales of the kind of love she longed to find? It couldn't be done. So with great opposition coming from inside himself he knew what he had to do.
Deep in the night Pharriell slid a note under her door telling what he was doing, where he was going, and why it must be done. He set off without even saying a farewell. Where he went no one other than she knew. He never returned to his home kingdom to see the great castle his former neighbors had built for him and his to be wife. He roams the earth thinking of her and what could have been ever single day. But Namath Maximus Pharriell isn't all tragic. For he knows what he did was the right thing and, other than he, the whole world would greatly appreciate it.
After many heartbreaking years Taylor Swift managed to record their romantic tale and turn it into a song. She entitled it "Tim McGraw".
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