I don't know what to do anymore

whats wrong with me?
i used to be happy everyday.
but now i sit in the dark
crying.
what do i cry about?
im not even sure.
when they see me
they see a pretty smile a cheerful laugh.
deep inside im dying
crazy thoughts fill my head
violence is all i know now.
grades are dropping.
feelings to cut myself
to hurt myself some how.
the feeling is thick
and its up to my neck
slowly creeping up
higher and higher
until its at my mouth.
as i scream it fills me
im drowning.
what do i do to make it stop.
suisidal thoughts arnt normal
especially not at 13.
am i crazy?
depression is filling my life.
taking over slowly
my feelings are taking on a life of their own.
they scream at me
millions of them all at once.
im confuzed.
i need help.
but when i cry out
no ones caring to listen
im stuck alone
i guess its time to face it.