One to be culled.

In the spring of 1981 I was a 14 year old teenaged delinquint. I was on the verge of being shuttled back to my father after an 18 month residential experiment with my mother in Watertown Massachusetts. My folks had been divorced since 1977 and I lived with my dad at first, then my mom.
I had always been attracted to drugs, alchohol, cigarettes and sex. I was always striving to be involved in the lifestyle and aura of sin and debauchery. I was an accomplished liar and thief by the age of 10. I was proud of my stature as the kid who never got caught doing anything and could bullshit my way out of scrapes. I remember telling my mother I wanted to be a "Hells Angel" when I grew up, i'm not kidding. There was this biker across the street from me where I grew up who used to park his chopper in his living room. I don't know what his real name was but my father used to call him "Malignant". I was impressed.
I had been drunk a few times and had smoked pot and gotten high for a year or so up to this point. I had been smoking cigarettes since I was 12. I was very ready to take it to the next level.
My best friend Mark was 9 months younger than me but had more experience with drugs. He had lived in a big apartment complex filled with older teens and many drug dealers before he moved to his new house. He was dealing ounces of pot at age 13. He had also done "Mescaline" a few times and suggested I try it.
I went to his place and and he showed me 2 small pieces of paper that he called "Blotter Acid"
It had a little gold dolphin on it with a blue halo around it's head. He told me to put one hit under my tongue and let it just stay until it dissolved. I did so and waited for something to happen. About a half hour later one of Marks older friends "Craig" pulled up in front of his house and beeped the horn. I grabbed my six of Heffenreffer's and climbed into the back of his 2 door Nova.
Craig put a cassette of "Pink Floyd Animals" in the tape deck, then he took a small leather pouch out of the glove box. He took out a small green pipe, a lighter and a glass vial with what looked like back paint at the bottom. He heated the bottom of the vial for a few seconds with a flame then scraped out some of the black stuff with a pin. He put it in the bowl of the pipe and pinched a bit of weed on top. He told us it was "Hash Oil" He put the pipe to his lips and cracked the lighter. He took a deep haul off the pipe and passed it to Mark who did the same. When I got the pipe I was already starting to feel a tingle. The smoke was cooler than I was used too. That was it. We all had 1 hit.
I cracked open a Heff and sucked half of it in 1 swig. Then I started to feel the warmth spread through my body. A sweet, loving, warmth rolled in my skin and I could feel a bright smile on my face. Roger Waters was howling out "Dogs" on the speakers. I was mouthing the words. That song seemed so important at that moment. So truthful and earnest. I was aware that I was "Tripping". It felt good. I was listening to and feeling my heart beat but I was unafraid. I was happy to be in touch with my body. I was being ignored in the back as they were laughing like mad men at something. Finally Mark turned to me and smiled. He asked me how I felt. I told him I was "real good man, real good". He told me he was just starting to get off. We both pounded the rest of the beer in about 5 to 7 minutes.
Craig dropped us off at the mall in Peabody. We walked in through "Jordan Marsh". Everything looked so beautiful and clean. Every time I walked by a mirror I observed that we were both beaming. To most people we must have looked insane. Just 2 teenagers walking
along with huge shit eating grins for no apparent reason. We were both cherry cheeked also.
Then I started contemplating everything. My slice of pizza, a cigarette, my shoelace. All of the sudden everything I saw had a deep meaning and purpose. A mystery to figure out. An
origin. A story with a back history and a reason for intertwining with every other thing. I needed to slow down and collect my self. I was having fun and then everything just started to get very intense. I took a few deep breaths and looked at Mark. He started laughing and then I started laughing. We just laughed for a long while. I remember people walking by and giggling at us. Some older people gave us dirty looks.
This was really fun. I started to think of why people were against drugs. Why are drugs illegal? Do some people just not want to be happy. Do some people just not want to understand things? I was feeling so good. Why would someone want to take this happiness away from me?
In my little 14 year old brain it just made no sense. I was so content and satisfied. Not a care in the world. i did'nt know it at the time but right then in 1981 I was free. I was disconnected from my childhood and the responsibilties of adult life was light years away. I was in the here and now. Right here right now. There was nothing else. No consequences. No limits. I was free.