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Rated: E · Monologue · Biographical · #1708166
this is vomit from the neck (lol!). just a small part of "the process"...
12.11.200                           "c l a r i t y (i hope)"                                    02:00 am

         i've heard all the things said, & from every angle of perspective, through the eyes of, through the mouths, & through the ears of all that each one accompanies. we are together in our humanity. i must confess each & every one of my sins / wrongs / violation(s) / non-complient / ill-ledgitemant / immoral / dis-respectfull / rude / un-kind / resentful / judgemental / manipulative / un-healthy / negative / sick / ignorant / dis-honest / cowardly / premiscuous + lustfull / surpersticious / intrusive / arrogant / toxic & numerous more behaviors that through selfish / self seeking / opportunistic / pre-meditated / strategic & calculated effort(s) to heal myself from the wounds taken on early in life than my consciouns knows perhaps seem static, but hopefully however slow are transending. in doing so i've had to treat those injuries as best & as above stated worst manner possible to get to the place i am today.

        i am although wrecked upon the roadside of all our present moment happy, scared & frightened, excited & enthusiastic to express myself as offering the only thing i have which is the very flesh & bones. like all people share (i think). despite all of this in my naked guilt of being a 40+ years of age male, human being (planet earth / usa (downtown phoenix, az) resident) whom is so far as justified, entitled, so far as i am measurably rated to the comparitive value between any & all of you here now am solid in the promise of the loving omnipotent creative producer of the universe, father son holly ghost, great spirit, tao (that which can't be humanly perceived, or spoken [before any conception of god]) in Jesus Christ a very grateful, immeasurably valuable expression of his beauty, his truth, promise & care.

         why we cannot see ourselves understandably through all of these capacities & still be sophisticated enough to let our sins pass, forgiven freely like he whom we were born astonishes me to a tear that has propetuated all of those things in combination of all & everyones dis-harmony that if to be human & if to be inescapably falible then i do nurture that tear drop in the shadows of pleasure (darkness or light). but if required to take from that which is inescapeable to join in this constant haunting, & abuse reflecting all of our dis-harmonies then i must not submitt.

         instead with that tear-drops waters will clean myself from you all (some). but in fear of God hopefully & to be bad influence to anyone ever again i cannot submit. i do what is me (of & in) alone. but as no man is an island i will join in submission with you all harmoniously, humorously, respectfully, loving, & true. i know i can because like he from whom where i come has shown me...

Respectfully,

-dAVid (solmonk)  6:18 pm  01.15.2010
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