Demented Soul

He looks down at the beautiful knife, the light winking beneath the blood that resembles paint on a canvas. This is his masterpiece and looking down at it causes a satisfying, malicious smile to grow upon his dark, distorted face.
To him, the blood looks deliciously tasteful. It is thick, luscious, resembling sweet, sweet wine. If he is to but taste one drop, will it taste of an elegant dessert or will it taste sour just like her wrenching screams? Yet to him, those screams were like heavenly angels singing a mystic song in the choir of God.
Yes, this is his masterpiece. He had conducted a symphony with her voice, painted the earth with her blood, and a dance with each jab and slash. There was no viciousness to his horrible deed amongst his demented mind. To him, he has given her a magnificent gift. He has taken her from this loathsome world, kept her safe from brutal harm, and simultaneously made her into the most beautiful and zealous piece of art ever created.
He brings the silver, tainted weapon to his tongue. He winces. She tastes of innocence touched with pain and hurt of the heart. He smiles and drops the knife by her tattered body that has been painted with the crimson from her veins. He reaches down, touching her face softly. She has found the peace that he wants so badly. She will only be one of many. He has a mission, to save all the innocents from the pain he so deeply felt.
Letting out a long breath, he turns from his artwork, sad that he will never see it again. Silently, as if he has never been there, he walks away, the wind blowing lightly behind him.

He stands tall, straightening his clean shirt. It tells no story of his previous struggle in his mission. It hides his truth as a loyal companion would. His once distorted face lies calm and warming. He smiles as he walks by strange faces. They smile back, ignorant of his underlying intentions. Another innocent must be saved, yes, but he has to be patient. His next victim, no, his next innocent needs to be given to him. He cannot give into the haste to save. It is not his duty to choose the person, a higher power sends him, demands him, and directs his mission. It is what determines his selection. Most are innocent, young women, only a few of those he saved were young men. Men are harder to save. They are reluctant and strong. Yet he can persuade them to his favor. He has never come close to being caught. It is the higher power that protects him, gives him mercy.
He walks into the church. This is his home, his refuge. People here know that he only wishes to show the way to forgiveness and enlightenment. He hopes that one day they can hear God's wondrous words of beauty and innocence. It is his desire as priest to spread the glory of his victorious mission but no, the world will not understand. They may think him a fraud or worst a murderer. No, he cannot let that be. He must reveal himself at the right moment, when he knows that God will set him free from this world of misery and sorrow.
Ah sweet, child of God, who walks up to him, shining with success. He wishes to sweep her away and carry her to the angels. She glows with the essence of what an angel may resemble. He does not wish to make her a masterpiece, or make her sing the heavenly songs. He only wants her to close her eyes and sleep forever. If only God will permit such a task, he will gladly accomplish it. He cannot let her be tainted with the sins of Satan. He wishes to show her what love and peace feel like. Oh but what silence does God create when it comes to that of sweet, caring Aaleyah. He once researched her name, a name which causes happiness in his heart. Aaleyah, the greatest gift of God. She is a gift indeed.
“Oh, Father!” He smiles. Her voice delights him with such grandeur. “Oh Father! Because of you, I was accepted.” She waves a paper around, her enthusiasm overwhelming. He puts his hands behind his back. It is his emotions for her that may cause him to lose control of his own body.
“That is wonderful!” he exclaims. Oh how he wishes to take her away. Just seeing her smile causes his whole being to shake with the desire to make her part of his mission. He looks around but only briefly. They are alone. Why does God give him such a chance to deliver her? His sacrifice must be to let her go. He cannot take it upon himself to choose whom he shall deliver. It is not his choice. This is not the place either. He shall not commit this act in the house of peace. But what better place to do it? No. The police will not understand his intentions. They will believe him a murderer. They will hold him accountable. It is not his choice. He gave his free will to God a long time ago. He was once a mere mortal searching for an answer, yet now he is saved. No one can harm him while he is in the protection of the Lord Himself.
“Are you coming, Aaleyah?” A different voice comes from behind them. He turns. Lora, a woman of shame and lust. She is the friend of Aaleyah. He cannot comprehend the reasons for Aaleyah to befriend someone with so much sin. All sins are equal but she has many. She is the demon to the angel. Must there always be a balance?
Aaleyah nods. “Sorry.” She turns to him. His heart swells with joy. “I'm gonna go. But I'll see you another time.” She sets a warming hand on his shoulder. He must contain his happiness. His body can only permit a simple nod or he may lose control. She smiles and walks away. Lora, the detested human, waves a good-bye. His smile fades. She deserves no kindness. He cannot possibly understand her reasons for so many unforgivable sins. He is no God. He cannot forgive like the Father himself. No. He is not an angel. He is a mere servant.
A whisper. A divine whisper tells him another name. He closes his eyes and kneels. The whisper increases. He can hear it now. Lora. Lora. No! He stands in anger. This cannot be! She of all people does not deserve such a miracle. She deserves to live in the horrors of the world. She deserves to live as a mortal persuaded by the sins of Lucifer. No. He does not want to give her to God. She is not an innocent. She is a woman of lust, temptation, and greed. How can he deliver her and not Aaleyah? There is no mistaking. Aaleyah is the angel and Lora is the demon. Shall he give a demon wings so that it may fly to heaven and destroy the place itself? God does not make mistakes. He has to trust Him. Yet this is a demand that he doubts. He cannot doubt Him. He is not a true servant if there is doubt in the Master. He must obey.
He sits down in one of the pews and begins to pray. He does not pray for forgiveness. He does not pray for help. He prays to God simply to pray. He tells his Lord the events of that day and what may have troubled him. He prays of his sadness for the decision but says he shall proceed as if doubt is absent. He prays so profoundly that he cannot be disturbed.
“Father.” He looks up. Lora. Disgusting, pathetic Lora. No, he must forgive her like the Lord has forgiven her. Yes. Forgiveness.
She sits beside him. “Father. Can I ask you a favor?” She questions.
God sends her to him. He has the fortune of His favor. “Why, yes.” He says.
“Can I stay here tonight? Please. I don't wanna be home when my pops is there. Please?” She pleads.
There is no need for pleading. He does not require it to give her the answer she desires. “Yes you may. There is a room in the basement for you to stay in.”
“Thank you. Please don't tell anyone. I don't want my pops to find me.”
“I will consider it a confession.” He assures her.
She nods. “Thank you. Gotta go. 'Leyah is waiting for me.” She gets up and leaves.
He frowns. Disgusting. She does not deserve God's pity. She deserves to stay home with her own father in the misery that the world gives everyone. How can he send her to Him if he detests her? It is not his place. He does not have the Power of God to choose the saved. It is not his choice.
“Father. I have doubts of my religion. What should I do?” A devoted man, Roger, comes every weekend. He is always there to hear the Father. No one deserves to be part of God's family more than this man.
“Do not fret. There is always doubt in the minds of His followers. If they say there is no doubt than it must be a mistake. As long as you know in your heart that you love God, He will always be there for you, you are fine.” The intent listener nods. “Remember. You must question your own actions, always. Contemplate if they are in the right or wrong. Ask for His forgiveness if you realize that your actions have been sinful and do not do it again. Be patient, kind, and forgiving. This is the way we must follow to make a much happier and successful life.”
He nods once again. “Thank you, Father. I will keep your advice in mind. Good night.” The man exits the church, his heart lightened.
He turns, looking down the church. Silence. He desires to complete his mission but it is patience that will make him successful. He must follow his own plan. The Lord will lie before him the opportunity. Yes. Like before. So many different ways has He given him the opportunity to send another Saved one. So many men and women. The newspapers make his heroic deeds sound like a selfish act of emotion or indignity. A stabbed woman, a man strangled, an overdose, a car wreck. He is not a murderer. It is only through the Lord that he knows how to act upon these deeds. There is no malice in his mind as he commits himself to these Heavenly actions.
“Father?” He did not even hear someone enter the church; his thoughts had wandered dangerously into the depths of his mind. He must not do it again. “Father?”
He looks at her and smiles. “Ah Lora. It is nice to see you again. Do you wish for me to show you the room now?”
She nods slowly and softly. He knows she will not understand his actions. No one ever does and it saddens him profoundly. Can they not see his intentions are one of God? Their resistance shows the ignorance of what God plans for them. If only he could share with the world what his deeds have accomplished and what they will do for the future. If only he could show the world how he has been chosen to be a worker of the Lord.
“So, show me where I'm sleeping.” She says.
“Oh yes!” He glances quickly around. No one. “Follow me dear child,” he says with a small wave.
He leads her down stairs which opens up to the basement. He walks through the basement and down another stair case. No one will hear them. No one will know but the Lord himself. He smiles and opens the old wooden door. She walks into the room. It is a small room. A cot is at one end, a book case standing tall beside it. On the cot, a pillow sits with a wool blanket across from it. This is the place. There, his opportunity waited. A thin rope lay on a shelf next to Lora.
Yes, it is time. He shuts the door. He stands beside her, slowly reaching for the rope. Dear Lord, give me the strength to send her to Heaven, he prays. “This is where I stay if I do not wish to return home.”
She nods. “It seems like a prison cell. There's no windows.” She points out.
He laughs softly. He wraps the rope around her neck. He has never strangled a woman with a rope. His mind of normalcy wanders to a place hidden deep within himself. He smiles what may be mistaken as a malicious smile and holds onto the rope as the girl thrashes out for freedom. It is His will for her to be sent to Him. She grabs for his hands but every time her nails miss his flesh. The glow of life slowly fades into gray. He lays her carefully on the cot and sets the rope beside her lifeless body. She does not deserve such a gift but it is His will and he must obey. He does not desire to taste her blood or look at her with such approval as he has done in the past. He cannot look at her with the happiness of success. He saved her, yes, but to him it was a gift he did not want to give. He cannot doubt. It is his place to never doubt. He had the miracles of God to save him from Hell. He must believe in the Almighty.
He hears the footsteps of another, in the basement. He bows his head and his lips begin to move in a prayer. The footsteps come down the stairs and there is a soft knock. “Father? Are you in there?” a voice calls.
He opens his eyes and stares at the door. There is no fear within his heart. “Yes. I shall be out soon.”
“Yes Father. I will see you soon.” The footsteps fade into the distance. He glances back at the woman that was once Lora. He must not doubt the Lord. The Almighty has sent the message to warn him from the lingering doubt, or he may be given the sentence of a murderer. He must not forget where he stands on this world. He is a servant. That is all.


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