Love and other stuff is in the air

Some of you know me. I am a famous star from the silver screen. My name is Pepe La Pew , Pepe for short, the one who causes women to faint.



I see her!

Beautiful woman you make me loose time it's self.

Your demure frame makes me faint with desire.

The hills cry out in envy of your curves.

I feint with desire.

Borrow the moonless night your black coat.

I loose my senses in your white as snow purity, stretching from tip to tip.

Sane words will not come with you in my sight.



I must choose from my arsenal of attacks.

Perhaps a heart written in the sky will do, no I’ve done that.

A serenade from my lips to tickle her ears, no I’ve done that.

Shall I retrieve chocolate from the deepest jungle, no I’ve done that.

Poetry to make Shakespeare blush, no I’ve done that.

A gourmet feast to make her mouth water across the room, Yes that will be just right.

Now, let’s use the papers I have loosened from a premier French cookbook as my guide. I have saved them for just such an occasion. Now, we must find the proper ingredients. With the clanging and crashing of a sue chef I have them. Some minor improvements are in order such as, this raw hide dog bone, aged to prefection under the winter snow, will replace that inferior steak. Several unused eggs set this dish above all others. I don’t know why perfectly good eggs would be here. Steaming this dish slightly over a vent blanches it to perfection.

The setting is easy, for someone of my caliber, to prepare. With a street light for a lamp, an upturned garbage can lid for the table, and Chinese takeout cartons for plates I have provided just the right ambiance. I have prepared a setting fit for my queen. She will surely be deeply impressed with my prowess in the kitchen.

I can see that she is already looking me over. Sauntering toward her I use my chosen line “Madam would you care to accompany me for dinner?” I get up close to this vision of perfection and notice something peculiar.

She stinks!