I know you're probably wondering how I got myself in this predicament. Here I am, a woman in her prime – relatively attractive – and holding on for dear life to this relic of a boat in the middle of Lake Superior. Despite my precarious situation, I find myself thinking of Chicago, the singing group not the city, specifically their song If You Leave Me Now. If you've ever heard the song, you'd understand the irony of its lyrics and everything I'm about to tell you. By the way, here's something for you to keep in mind – I can't swim.
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