Christmas 2010

Christmas 2010



It's christmas day and I'm pissed.

Because I got nothing on my list.

Santa Claus can kiss my arse,

Where's my bike and hot wheels car?

I sat on his lap and pulled on his beard,

He was looking for help so I volunteered.

I gave him my list and did what he said,

Mixed him his vodka and polished his sled.

I rolled joints for the elves, and supplied the munchies.

Six hundred dollars worth of Mars bars and Crunchies.

I delivered his packages all night and all day,

Breaking into houses, he said it was OK.

"Freeze Mutherfucker!"

"Put your hands on your head!"

"No it's ok, I'm delivering gifts for Santa" I said.

Turns out the packages all weighed the same,

Imported from Columbia in 3 private planes.

I got 12 years for possession and three for supply.

Turns out Mr X and Santa are the same guy.

So next time you see Santa in your air conditioning duct,

Tell him he's a cunt, and to go and get fucked.