First

I feel like my expectations of you are very high.
Maybe if I hated you, you would love me?
You are so perfect for me, your flaws are the ones that I like,
the ones that I can live with.


                  I love you and I know that sometimes I treat you like shit.
                  I don't treat anyone else like shit, only you.
                  Because for whatever reason,
                  it's acceptable because of who we are and what are roles are.
                  Crazy, crazy.


I wish you could see yourself.
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.
You are, the most beautiful being I have ever seen.
You are the most generous, the kindest, the most wonderful boy in the world.
I love you and I tell you that everyday but I don't think you really see it.
Not really.
When I touch you I realize how we could be together but I find it interesting how
I am going after him, and you are with her.
Yet I feel this way.


                  It scares the shit out of me when you use that tone.
                  When you get that angry.


I want you to come home.
I know that's a selfish thing to ask of you,
But I want you here, and I wish you were here.
But you are busy remolding you mind
So I suppose I'll leave you alone, for now.


                  I wish your thoughts didn't haunt mine
                  Honestly, I can't believe you blame everything on me,
                  Me leaving.


I know we're supposed to have a Casual Friendship,
No strings attached,
But I'm sick of it.
Why don't you miss me?


                  I want to know how you're doing.
                  I want to know how you've changed, what you've been through since we left each other.
                  I would like to know if You&I could ever be an option some day.
                  I don't think it is.
                  I think we've changed too much.
                  Grown out of each other.


At some point, you reached into my lungs and yanked out my breath.


                  I wish I could show you what a good boyfriend I would be.
                  I wish I could show you how it could have been, with me.
                  Now you're with him and I want him too but
                  Can I be the other woman/man for both the people in the same relationship?
                  Not unless I want to lose you both.