UNTOLD REALMS ep.1

EPISODE 1: The Beginning of the Beginning of that Beginning

Mark: Okay... I'll just role my stats here...

John: Hey Mark, what are you doing?

Mark: I'm playing Untold Realms. Want to play?

John: Well, the Xbox is broken, my wii is getting fixed, my friends are doing something, the mall is closed, the TV is broken, the internet is down, I don't like to read, and mom is using the car, Yeah I'll give it a try...

Mark: okay, first off, you need to be a class

John: Okay, I want Social Studies... no Gym, which one has fewer push ups?

Mark: Character Class you idiot!!!

John: Okay Jeez!

Mark: Why don't you be a dwarf?

John: What kind of idiot would be a dwarf? *wink*

Mark: Okay, next, you choose your Type

John: I want to be a Fire Type! No Water Type! Oh, how about Water Fire Type?

Mark: Shut up John, why don't you be a Sorcerer?

John: What kind of idiot would be a sorcerer? *wink*

Mark: While I role your stats, draw you character in this box

John: What? I can't draw

Mark: It doesn't have to be perfect you idiot, just draw something that will-

John: Done

Mark: What the hell is that?

John: That's me

Mark: What's that on your face?

John: It's a beard... I was trying to think of the greatest sorcerer of all, and I thought of... Abraham Lincoln. That's why I based my character off good ole' Abe!

Mark: Oh jeez. Fine!

John: Yeah!

Mark: Wait... what are you holding?

John: Well, I want to use nunchox! Like those Ninja Turtles!

Mark: You can't duel nunchox you idiot! You'll role a -4 on your attack roles!

John: But I'll die looking like a totally awesome Ninja Abraham Lincoln Sorcerer

Mark: You're an asshole!!!

John: By asshole you mean, Totally awesome Ninja Abraham Lincoln Sorcerer, then by all means, call me that

Mark: Oh fine! What's the name of your character?

John: Umm... how about John

Mark: *clapping* Very clever John! Very clever!

John: Fine then, I'll be... Sir Tchikofski the 2nd

Mark: What? Why!?

John: Well, I like Tchikofski's work you idiot!

Mark: I think you mean Tchaikovsky

John: Tchaikovsky, Tchikofski, it doesn't matter

Mark: Oh fine whatever... As Tchikofski and Xenioc Tobark-

John: Wait a minute... who is this guy?

Mark: That's me

John: So you're making fun of my character, when your character looks like that?

Mark: What's wrong with my wizard!?

John: You totally don't have a monocle

Mark: A what?

John: It's a well known fact, that all wizards, wear monocles

Mark: Merlin didn't wear a monocle

John: That's because he doesn't want to ruin his eye sight in battle. He wears it when he is not called into combat

Mark: You're an idiot

John: Wait, why do I have to go on an adventure with this guy?

Mark: I don't think you're very intelligent to go on your own

John: WHAT!? I have an intelligent of... *looking at character stats* 5 dick face! What's yours?

Mark: That's not what I mean

John: Victory by forfeit!!!

Mark: Oh just shut up... okay, we leave our hometown of Shishakta And are now in this field of grass

John: I search for traps

Mark: What? Were not even anywhere important yet! Why are you searching for traps!?

John: So we don't fall into traps!

Mark: You can't just-

(20)

John: Ha! I rolled a 20!

Mark: You see no traps!

John: But I rolled a 20! I have to all the traps

Mark: YOU DO!!! YOU SEE ALL 0 TRAPS!!!

John: Jeez fine! I search for hidden walls

Mark: We're standing outside!!! There are no hidden walls!!!

John: It's because they are hidden jackass

Mark: Fine! You see all 0 WALLS!!!

John: How can you know? I didn't even roll!!!

Mark: Just shut up!!! Can I continue on with the story!?!?!?

John: Okay, fine

Mark: Thank you... As our heroes walked on the winding path, they see some wolves ahead

John: Let's attack them

Mark: What? You idiot, we can't fight off a pack of wolves!

Tchikofski: Oh yes Xenioc, we have to fight these wolves

Xenioc: Are you sure? I'm not okay with this

Tchikofski: Yes...

~BATTLE SCENE~

Mark: There are 5 wolves, they all each have to same stats

HP 20
SP 0
Atk 8
Def 4
Spe 3

Tchikofski: Okay, I wanna cast a spell

Xenioc: Um... okay

Tchikofski: Flare!!! (16)

Mark: Tchikofski uses flare and blinds all the wolves and leaving 4 damage

1. 16
2. 16
3. 16
4. 16
5. 16

Xenioc: Okay, I use fireball of the 4th wolf (13)

Mark: The fireball hits the 4th wolf and gets 8 damage

1. 16
2. 16
3. 16
4. 8
5. 16

Tchikofski: Good job Xenioc, you're not worthless

Xenioc: Hey!!!

Mark: The wolves attack, but instead, they hit each other since they are blinded by Tchikofski's flare attack

1. 12
2. 13
3. 11
4. 2
5. 14

Tchikofski: This is it! I finish the 4th wolf with mah nunchox! Each led fool!!! (19)

Mark: The 4th wolf was defeated, and the other wolves ran away

~YOU WON THE BATTLE~

John: Sweet! What did we win!?

Mark: We got... 12 exp and 4 gold

John: 4 gold? Dang! Those are some cheap wolves right there

Xenioc: Well, I guess we should keep walking, right Tchikofski?

Tchikofski: Yeah, I think so. Let's get a move on!

Mark: Our heroes kept on walking down the winding path when they see an old house in the distance

Xenioc: It sure is getting dark, maybe we should sleep there for the night

John: Are you kidding Mark? Going into that house is suicide! I think we should keep walking until we see a town

Tchikofski: Come on wimpy wizard! Let's go!

Mark: As our heroes walked, the sun went down. When it's night time, they saw some bandits walking towards them

John: Okay Mark, I want to attack them

Mark: What, Why?

John: I want some more Exp here! I want to level up!

Mark: Fine then!

~BATTLE SCENE~

Mark: Our heroes encounter 2 bandits, a small one, and a big one

Small Bandit
HP 12

Big Bandit
HP 25

Tchikofski: I use flare! (14)

Mark: The flare hits the big bandit, the big bandit is blind and takes 3 damage

S. Bandit. 12
B. Bandit. 22

Xenioc: I use another fireball (12)

Mark: The fireball hits the small bandit and does 7 damage

S. Bandit. 5
B. Bandit. 22

Mark: The Big bandit hits the small bandit since it was blind, the Small bandits hits Tchikofski for 4 damage

Tchikofski: Ouch! Now that's it! I am going to... use my nunchox of steel! (6)

Mark: Tchikofski attacks the small bandit and does 3 damage

S. Bandit. 2
B. Bandit. 22

Xenioc: I will hit him (8)

Mark: Xenioc hits the small bandit, the small bandit is defeated

B. Bandit. 22

John: Sweet! One more bandit to go and...

Mark: The Big Bandit runs away, seeing that his partner went down

~YOU WON THE BATTLE~
12 exp
18 gold

John: You got to be kidding me! Why do these enemies keep running away!!!??? Maybe because of my awesome muscles... *wink*

Mark: Hut up... okay, our heroes see a town

Xenioc: Look Tchikofski! A town!

Tchikofski: Oh course I can see it! What's the name of the town?

Xenioc: Well, there's a sing right there

Tchikofski: It says... Capricorn Villiage

Xenioc: Then I guess we're in Capricorn Villiage

Mark: In the Villiage, they can identify a Blacksmith and an inn

John: Hey, is that a tavern?

Mark: No John, it's a cow

John: Oh I'm pretty sure that's a tavern Mark

Mark: Fine! It's a tavern! Can we get on with the story!?

John: But we don't even have a quest!

Mark: Uh... then well, I guess we'll have to go see what quests we can do in the tavern

Tchikofski: Sweet!

Mark: Our heroes enter the tavern. There, they a wizard, a rouge, and a lady

John: Wait a minute... is the lady cute?

Mark: Um... sure, fine, whatever

John: Can I ask her to sleep with me

Mark: What why?

John: Why not? Wait... let me roll to see her age (16)

Mark: uh

John: 16, good enough

Mark: you can't hit on girls!

John: Oh yes I can, if there are battles, and dragons, and wizards and warriors and sorcerers... Why can't there be dating?

Mark: Because then you are going to ruin the whole game flirting with someone

John: Then I'll flirt

Tchikofski: Hi, I'm Tchikofski, a level 1 sorcerer

Lady: Ew, no, I like flirting with level 10's!

John: Screw you Mark!

Mark: There! Now let's continue on this adventure!

Xenioc: What quest should we do?

Tchikofski: how about this one... kill the dragon that haunts Mt.Mersuvia

Xenioc: um, can we start with something easy?

Tchikofski: Like what?

Xenioc: How about this? Deliver an axe to a guard near the bridge of Alumous

Tchikofski: Okay, fine

Mark: Thank you! Okay, so we are now going to the blacksmith

Tchikofski: Yo Blacksmith mah man! Can we get that axe so we can deliver it to some guard

Blacksmith: Okay adventurers! Be careful, there are weird things outside this villiage

Xenioc: Like... like what?

Blacksmith: Didn't you hear? There is this guy who kills anybody who gets near the old house

Tchikofski: Thank you blacksmith! Let's go Xenioc! Our adventure awaits!

Xenioc: I think we should go to the inn. Heal up a little bit

Tchikofski: Well, since you say so

Mark: Thank you... okay, so our heroes go in an inn to rest for the night

Xenioc: Hello sir, can we get room for the night?

Manager: How many rooms?

Xenioc: 1 room please

Manager: 1 room for 2 men? I wonder you are going to do

Tchikofski: We're not going to do that!!!

Manager: I'm just saying

Tchikofski: What a perverted Manager he was

Xenioc: At least we can sleep now

Tchikofski: Yeah, true

Mark: So, this is it! Our adventure is going to start

John: As our heroes rest in the inn., what will happen on their quest to deliver an axe to the guard? And what dangers are ahead of them? And who is this guy near the abandoned house?

To be continued...

Author's comments: Wow, the first episode of the epicness begins

COMING SOON:

EPISODE 2: Beggars, Axes, Mouses, Wells, now what?