The Unwanted Guest

I am very social and love large gatherings, but I am always an uninvited guest. I make my rounds from person to person: a handshake here and there, maybe a kiss. Some people 'get me,' while others just shrug me off, not even realizing that I was there. Did I mention that I am also unwanted? Yes, it is true, but don't feel sorry for me, because I won't have any pity for you.

Don't get the wrong impression of me, though. I am, after all, a little selective in the people I choose. People that work too hard and do not get enough sleep are easy targets for me. I also enjoy the company of smokers, the old, the young and the weak. I am not, however, sexist, or racist and your religious affiliation matters little to me. If you are one of the unfortunate ones that I pick; know that I will invade you life for about a week. During this time, the best thing to do is stay alone with me at home. I am a bit tiring, so get some extra rest. If you don't take a little extra care, I can call on a bigger brother or sister to join the party and then you may be in real trouble. Yes, my presence has ruined many a plan throughout the history of mankind.

My coming is not always looked at with horrid trepidation. I have, many times been the protagonist of the procrastinator. I have given some people an extension of a deadline, or perhaps a little time off from the daily grind. There are also the unscrupulous, who have invoked my name in a ruse to get out of daily responsibilities or other unpleasant things.

People have resorted to all kinds of things to try to get rid of me. Everything from science to witchcraft has been used. Yet, I continue to confound the best minds mankind has to offer. Every year, people pour out vast sums of money on potions, charms and various concoctions to drive me away. I laugh at the futility of all these things, for the best one can hope for is to hide me from sight for a short time. I will let you in on a little secret: I don't like people that wash their hands a lot. Cleaning doorknobs and other things that people handle a lot really irks me as well. Fortunately for me, most people don't know about or bother with these little frustrations to my quest to invade lives.

With all that I've said, I have never told you what to expect from a visit from me. I will make your head ache. I will make your throat sore. I will make you cough. I will make your nose run. I will make you sneeze. I will make you miserable. I am a cold.