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Rated: E · Short Story · Other · #1768725
kitchen utensils ... kitchen utensils ... you can do more with them than eat ...
......................................


kitchen utensils ...

what would we do without them ...

you can do more with them than eat ...

......................................


it's christmas ...

i go to buffalo n.y. ....

to visit with my brother and his famity ..

mom is there from north carolina ..

and so is my other brother and his wife ...

their from california ...

all is going well ...

it's a nice family reunion ...

it hard to get us all together in one place ...

we all live in different states ...

one morning ...

we are having a good breakfast ...

mom wants cereal ...

sister-in-law brings mom a bowl and a spoon ...

but, it was a small spoon ...

mom, set in her ways ...

exclaims ...

no, no, no, ...

i need a big spoon ...

i've got to have a big spoon ...

to eat my cerial ...

it sounded like something ...

from a monty python sketch ...

pink floyd? ....

this, to us is just the funniest thing ...

i guess you had to be there ...

and know mom ...

this became a running joke to us ...

when ever we talk about mom ...

it's ...

"bring me a big spoon" ....

i think the utensil thing started ...

the previous night at dinner ...

we were having spaghetti ...

sister-in-law is putting the sauce on the plates ...

using a big spoon ...

mom pipes in ...

don't you have a ladle ...

you must have a ladle some where ...

you've got to have a ladle ...

sister-in-law didn't own, one ...

......................................................



since then ...

when ever i go to visit in buffalo ...

i bring an abundance of a certain kitchen utensil ...

the first time ...

i brought big spoons ....

i mean big spoons ...

that would dwarf a table spoon ...

near a dozen ...

i searched all over for different kinds ...

next time ...

of course ...

it was ladles ...

lots of ladles ...

the last time...

spatulas ...

it's been the running theme ...

every time i visit ....

......................................................



i stopped into the coffee shop as usual ...

it's my morning routine on the way to work ..

while standing at the counter ...

waiting for my coffee ...

one of the ladies who works there ...

comes around to the front of the counter ...

carrying a big gallon jug of some thing ...

i never bothered to look ...

and asks me to open it for her ...

apparently, she couldn't get it open ...

happy to help ...

i try to open it ...

gripping the cap ...

i try to turn it ...

nothing ...

it wouldn't budge ...

i work out 5 days a week ...

on the weight machines ...

and i can't get it to budge ...

i feel like a weakling ...

every one is watching me ...

fail to open this jug ...

one lady getting her coffee says ...

turn it upside down ...

and bang the cap on the counter ...

so i do ....

i again, grip the cap ...

trying to wrench it open ...

i throw all my body strength into it ...

bent down with my head on the cap ...

struggling ...

nothing ...

the cap will not turn ...

it's like it's welded on ...

finally ...

as a last resort to save face ...

in front of all the ladies ....

now standing around me watching ...

i ask for a big spoon ...

i use it to pry under the cap ...

hoping to loosen it ...

i go all around the cap with it ...

then ...

once again ...

try to open the jug ...

finally ...

with ease ...

it opens ...

the ladies cheer ..

i can go to work ...

with my manhood in tact ...

i am now known at the coffee shop ...

as super marty ...

all because of ...

... a big spoon ...

............................................
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