Sacrifice

Sacrifice

I can’t imagine how my great-great grandmother Rebecca must have felt
To have the slave owner’s nephew forced upon her
It must have made Jacob, her husband feel like less than a man
Because he couldn’t protect his wife’s honor from the white man’s lust
The result of that unwanted union was my great, great aunt Kennedy
But there are only oral records of her in history

More than a century my ancestors worked in the hot, unforgiving cotton fields
Receiving no pay, yet they had to live
How they managed to feed and clothe their large number of children without complaint
Makes me wonder how, but there is only blankness where an answer should be
But I guess that my ancestors had no choice
The slave master’s whip silenced their voice

I have no choice about the different bloods that flow through my veins
All African Americans do not have eyes so dark they look black and skin the color of the sun’s rays like me
Though I am by no means light enough to cross racial sides
To be as fair as Beyonce has had its advantages in life
And yes I’ve been called the n-word to my face
And I was more Malcolm X than Martin Luther King when anger forced me throw punches that hurt like a scorpion’s sting

I am also Cherokee
But I don’t know how to build a tepee or smoke a peace pipe because of slavery
It bothers my grandfather so much
I can tell because he talks of the pale face with hatred and disgust
But it is an ironic thing to see
Because his skin is the color of parchment and his eyes are as green as tea leaves

Imagine my surprise when I discovered in school
There’s another girl with the same name
The moment we met, it was instant dislike
Could it be because I’m black, she’s white
I knew that we probably had some of the same genes
But she always thought that she was better than me

She and I were like darkness and sunshine
The darkness was me, impenetrable, unchanging
She was the sunshine, all smiles and easygoing
My colors were of warm browns and dark blacks
Hers were blondes, peaches, and blues
As far apart on the color spectrum as anything could be

William, Patience, Rebecca, Jacob
Julia, John, Robert, Dora
I am your descendant and the product of all your pain
The sacrifices you made shaped who I am today
Because of you I have the opportunity to get an education
I don’t have to spend my life on a reservation or plantation

But my life is not without oceans to cross and mountains to climb
There are so many obstacles in front of me
In life I must work twice as hard
And I’m still not judged on my character
But because of the price that my ancestors have paid
I will be nobody’s “Mammy” or maid