Loneliness

The sand wriggled between my toes tickling them. My hands weighed down, she was heavy she was crying and crying but I didn't care I was in my own magical world. The sun shone on my neck, the warmth of the heat hugged my body so loving and gentle just like mummy used to. So I held my little one closely and gently yet she still cried. Her piercing noise was irritating me, she viciously dug deep into my arm, her sharp nails pinned into my skin slowly drawing blood, but still I didn't care I was in my own magical world.

I carried on walking; my hair blew across my face. I felt as if I was flying. God help me. I knew the reality I lived in but my mentality was to imagine miracles.
Her name, Isabella. Chestnut brown hair, silky soft curls almost like mini springs on her head. Her eyes, oh lord where do I begin. Her eyes... Magical dazzling hazel glitter, eyes of an angle, eyes of one you'd never imagine. Eyes of a baby that was mine.

She wrapped her small soft fragile finger round mine, as she did so she quietened down. Her small head lay on my chest. I knew she was listening to the beat of my heart as if it were her favourite song; she smiled and fell asleep in my arms. I decided to lay on the beach with Isabella sleeping on my chest so peacefully. Laying down looking up at the clear blue sky, funny enough it also cleared my mind. Waves crashing silently in the background, baby lionesses I would say, strong, female, young lionesses roaring also independent no mummy or daddy around for safe guarding. My mind was drifting moving from topic to topic as if I were a school child moving into different lessons every hour learning different things. My stressed, confused mind needed a rest, so I slowly shut me eyes, held my precious baby closer, kissed her forehead and so I dozed off with my world on top of me.

Asleep, I heard the utter of distant noises. The soft gurgle of baby soothed my heart – reassured me. The rhythm of the waves, intertwining caused a natural melody, from a soft jazz to hard rock, the waves got louder, my mind could not bare it; my ears sensitive to the noise. I didn’t know whether I was awake or dreaming.

Suddenly I woke up, to find my little girl was gone, I looked all around me still I couldn’t see her. Only to hear her voice, she was crying. The sound of fear is what I was hearing; it made my heart weaken, as if it was being pulled out of me. God please don’t do this to me I cried out. I saw her. I saw her near the waters and I was too late, big monstrous waves had got to her. With the amount of love for my angle, it was the fuel that’s energized by body to get up with the speed of a racing car. I was scared, my hear felt as though it was in my mouth, I felt sick but it didn’t matter I was going save the creation of a beautiful life that was a part of me. I dived in the water. At this moment of my life I was dead I was sickened by the image before me. My only daughter, the gem in my life that brought happiness was lying there at the bottom. I swam to the bottom and picked her up. I held her on my chest wrapping her small fragile finger round mine. Her beautiful hair waved about as the waters moved, it was the only part of her that moved. I couldn’t hold my breath longer I decided that I would lay down with my angle Isabella on my chest.