by FiFi Jo
Short prologue for the FiFi Jo book-in-progress. A cheeky minx! Would it make you read on?
THE FIFI JO ADVENTURES
My name is FiFi Jo and holy cow it is hard being me. Ok, who am I kidding? It’s wonderful being me – I’m fabulous! However, it does take a lot of hard work and determination (and the occasional crate of champagne), to be this wonderful. Therefore, it is only fair I allow you a peek into my world, but please don’t touch anything. No grubby fingerprints on my carefully chosen décor (there’s plenty of rainforest in South America to go around). And no cameras or video footage either. Quite frankly, I don’t need the kind of publicity that ends up on YouTube with a tag line similar to “check out the tits on this one, guys!”
I believe I have been described as a self-obsessed, manic, good time girl (I really must shut down my mother’s Facebook page one day). I would like to set the record straight. I prefer to be known as a sexy, struggling, single mother with limited support, but an armory of resources (and beautiful blonde hair that falls down my back in shiny waves). I am much like an army tank with no backup tanks, in the middle of a warzone, battling through no matter the odds. Only it would be painted pink and with a constant aroma of vodka wafting from it.
Unfortunately, my single mother status barely holds up. Due to some silly court order about my parenting skills and ‘level of fitness’, I am not allowed to spend any quality time with my two gorgeous, charming and witty sons (obviously, they take after me). This only leaves me more determined to enjoy my time alone. I am, however, completely bewildered why a court judge would think having a gym membership has anything to do with parenting skills.
So come and follow me as I do what I like, when and where I like. You may see me in your city, bouncing down your main street, chugging shooters in your favourite bar, and kicking you off your pedestal at your local nightclub. Just don’t blame me if you see similarities!